THE TREMULANT SINGS

The Barbara Walters Special

2005-05-26T10:21:00.000-07:00

Hey! Look! I'm updating again! It looks like there are less people reading my blog these days, but I think it's either because I went so long between posts, or because my last post was about video games and eBay. There's only been one person who has even guessed at my contest. I've been changing the header above my blog with each new post, and whoever is able to pick out where all 5 quotes are from will win a prize. The header up top is the third, so I guess I'll have to recap the first two. The first was
"A catatonic leisure at 1,000 miles per hour"
and the second was...
"How do you feel patient nine-five-seven?"
Di has a guess in on the first one, but I won't say whether the guesses are right or wrong until all five are up, and everyone is done guessing. I'm going to try to keep some sort of contest running on my blog most of the time, because I think that they're fun. Plus, I think the prize on this one is pretty damn cool.

So there's this "interview" thing going around, and I caught it from my wife. You can read how it works at the bottom. Here are my answers to her questions...

1. If you could spend one day with your mother, what would you do?
That's a really good question. Mom passed 11 years ago, so there's a great deal that's happened since then that I would want to share with her. We used to have a special park that we'd go to to hang out and talk, which is where I met Marissa. When I told Christa that I wanted to meet Marissa, I wanted to meet her some place that was special to me, which is why I suggested the park. I'd love to take my family to that park, and just sit down and talk with mom. Introduce her to my family that she's never met, my wife, and my daughters. Talking is so underrated these days, and so easily people take their loved ones for granted. I'd just love to talk, take pictures, and catch up. It's been so long. I think that I sometimes subconsciously make an effort not to think about her, because of how sad I get when I actually do. Until she passed away, my mom was my best friend, and it was really hard to lose her. Even just one day at the park is all I'd need.

2. What is your number 1 favorite video game of all time? Why?
This question easily solidifies my position within the nerd community, but I could care less. I'm a nerd. This is a hard question though. It makes me think of the scene in Mallrats when Claire Forlani asks Jason Lee what which comic book character he would be. "What does one gauge his response on? Physical prowess? Keen detection skills? The ability to banter well with super villains?" Having played hundreds and hundreds of video games over the course of my lifetime, I would have to say that there is no possible way for me to pick a single favorite video game of all time. I have, instead, compiled a top ten list, because I'm fanatical like that. Here goes (women, feel free to skip this section):
10 - Tactics Ogre: The Knight Of Lodis (Game Boy Advance, 2002) This game is like chess, with hundreds more variables. I love chess. I told you I was a nerd. You can use close to 25 different classes of characters (way more than chess), plus it's on the GBA, so it's portable. Can't beat that.
09 - Rival Schools: United By Fate (Playstation, 1998) Now everyone remembers Street Fighter, right? Take Street Fighter, and turn all of the fighters into Japanese high schoolers. Now make the reasons that they're fighting completely ridiculous. Now you have Rival Schools. I lived with three other guys about 5 years ago. Every couple nights, we'd all grab a six pack and beat the shit out of each other using characters that swung bats, kicked soccer balls, and even spiked volleyballs. Man those were fun times.
08 - Metroid (playable by clicking this link) (Nintendo Entertainment System, 1986)This was one of the first free-roaming action/adventure games to hit it big. Enter Planet Zebes and destroy the Mother Brain. Sounds simple enough, right? It was, after you got the wave beam. The coolest twist? After you beat the game, your character (Samus Aran) takes the spacesuit off. Guess what? You were a chick the whole damn time, and never even knew it!! How freakin' cool is that?!?
07 - Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (playstation 2, 2003)Yes, in a video game setting, I do like to shoot innocent bystanders and run over as many helpless pedestrians as I can. But that's not what made this game the shit. The ENTIRE game takes place in the 80s, and guess what those masterminds over at Rockstar Games did? They put genuine 80s music on all of the radio stations in the cars you steal and ram into stuff! It was pure genius. The whole game plays out like a cross between Miami Vice and Scarface. They even got Tubbs from the original Miami Vice to do a voiceover. And, to top it all off, Ray Liotta does the voice work for the main character. The only thing cooler than that would have been Mr. T!
06 - Castlevania II: Simon's Quest (playable by clicking this link) (Nintendo Entertainment System, 1988) Sequel to one of the coolest games ever made. I'm not too shabby at video games, but I have to say that the first Castlevania game was the hardest freakin' game in the world to beat. The only thing that made the second one better was the ability to free roam. Additionally, the music and graphics were much better as well. Oh, plus, you get to carry around Dracula's rib with you. Who wouldn't want to do that?
05 - Mike Tyson's Punch-Out (playable by clicking this link) (Nintendo Entertainment System, 1987) Okay, bitch-ass Nintendo released two versions of this gem, one titled Mike Tyson's Punch-Out, in which Mike Tyson is your opponent in the last match, and the second, called only Punch-Out, which replaced the original once Iron Mike got into trouble with the law. The last match in "rew, retarded" Punch-Out, is some bitch named Mr. Dream. You'd think with a name like that, it'd be a catfight. Wanna see how hard Mike was -to beat? Click the link for this one, and put in the password 007-373-5963 (yes, I'm lame enough to still remember it). Give him a shot. Yeah, I didn't beat him until I was 23 years old, if that tells you anything.
04 - Tetris (playable by clicking this link) (Nintendo Entertainment System, 1989) There can't be too many people out there that aren't familiar with Tetris. It's one of the most addictive games ever. I even got Christa and DammitJen to play a newer version of it on the PS2 the other night. The best thing to come out of Russia since Vodka.
03 - Phantasy Star II (Sega Genesis, 1988) This one makes me a dork for sure. I remember renting this game over and over and over when it came out. My mom let me rent this one for sooo long, we could have bought it in rental fees alone. Then we turned around and bought it anyway. I think maybe I liked it so much because of my love for Anime.
02 - 720° (Arcade) If I had taken all of the quarters I dumped into these machines when I was a kid, and put them into a bank account instead, I'd probably have a couple thousand dollars in interest by now. I have always been into skateboarding, and in 1986, Atari finally tapped into the scene. My mom and I used to take trips out to Vegas to visit her mom. In those days, it was safe to leave your kids in the casino arcades, and I played this game until I nearly had carpal tunnel. My mom was always a good gambler, so she'd check in on me every 30 minutes or so with a fresh roll of quarters. Those were good times. I miss that. I've always wanted to own an arcade game, and if I could pick any game on the planet, it'd easily be this one. I saw one for sale recently for $850. I consider that a steal, but NOWHERE near within our budget. One day though, we'll have this in our garage. Maybe Ms. Pac-Man too.
01 - The Legend Of Zelda (playable by clicking this link) (Nintendo Entertainment System, 1987) My brother and I played this one to death. This was one of the first games to actually make you feel as if you were on a quest. It's spawned several sequels, but none as good as the first. Your mom would probably even get a kick out of it. I still play it from time to time.

Honorable Mention:
Bionic Commando (playable by clicking this link) (Nintendo Entertainment System, 1988)
Blaster Master (playable by clicking this link) (Nintendo Entertainment System, 1988)
Top Skater (Arcade, 1997)
Zillion (playable by clicking this link) (Sega Master System, 1987)
Mega Man (playable by clicking this link) (Nintendo Entertainment System, 1987)
Ghouls 'n Ghosts (playable by clicking this link) (Sega Master System, 1990)
Kid Icarus (playable by clicking this link) (Nintendo Entertainment System, 1987)
Smash TV (Arcade, 1991)
Ms. Pac-Man (Arcade,)
Space Harrier (playable by clicking this link) (Sega Master System, 1986)

3. If you could go back and change one thing that you have done, would you? What would it be?
This one is pretty hard to answer too, since I've unfortunately done a lot of things in my life that I regret. Most of the things I regret have turned out okay in the end, so I'm going to pick one that didn't. This one's a two-parter, and if I could go back and change it, I would, without question. When my mom started to get sick, she convinced herself that she just had an ulcer, and refused to see a doctor. We all tried to coerce her into going, but she just wouldn't have it. I never thought about it too much, and didn't push her very hard to go. I truly believe that if any one of us actually could have persuaded her to see a physician, it would have been me, but I didn't try hard enough. When she finally agreed to be seen, it was much too late. Her doctor gave her less than a year. I've always thought that maybe if I pushed her just a little harder, maybe they could have caught it soon enough to remove the cancer. But I didn't, and I can't go back and change it. The other thing I regret, is not being there when she passed. She had held on for longer than the doctor anticipated, largely bedridden, but had been losing weight rapidly, due to an inability to eat without a feeding tube. Hospice was at our house regularly, and regulated how much she should be "eating". On the weekend of November 10th, in 1994, I went out of town to spend the weekend with my girlfriend in Oceanside. My little brother, then 9, went to stay the night at a friend's house. I spent about 20 minutes saying goodbye, but it wasn't enough, because she wasn't there when I got back. The night I left, after my brother and I had both left the house, she pulled out her feeding tube, and passed gently into the night. To this day, my brother and I still speculate she did it purposefully while we were both out of the house, so we wouldn't be there when it happened. After my stepdad called to tell me what had happened, I sunk into feeling there was no reason to ever even come home again. I believe that's most of the reason I moved out shortly thereafter. I regret not being there to hold her hand when she died. I regret it very, very much.

4. Do you believe in aliens?
My wife and I watch a lot of "alien related" stuff. Last week we finally finished watching Steven Speilberg's Taken, and it was awesome. As for the existence of "real" aliens? I think in a universe this expansive (without end?), it would be naive to think that there isn't a single other form of life out there. It's an incredibly interesting topic to read about as well. I saw what I believe to be a UFO once when I was in seventh grade. My friend Matt was sleeping over, and we were up, oddly enough, playing The Legend Of Zelda. It was around midnight, and the sky outside was clear. Out my window, I saw a slowly rotating row of lights, in the shape of a small disc off in the distance. I said nothing, and watched it, almost mesmerized. About thirty seconds later, Matt noticed that I was quiet, and looked out the window to see what I was staring at. I glanced over at him to affirm that he saw it too, and that what I was seeing wasn't in my imagination. There was a look of horror on his face that I can't describe, and to this day, still don't understand. It hovered slowly across the sky for about a minute and a half, then took off much faster than the speed of sound (although I heard no "sonic boom"), as it seemed to cross the entire sky in less than a second. Matt sat staring into the empty sky for a few more minutes, his look of horror fading into fear. Each time I spoke to him, he seemed to shudder a bit, and shy further away from where we were originally sitting. Less than ten minutes later, Matt had positioned himself in the space between my bed and the wall, put his head down, and remained motionless. He did not speak again that night. Or the next day before he left. Stranger still, I never saw Matt again, even though he was in two of my classes. He just disappeared. His phone was even disconnected less than a week later. If I were making this up, I'd probably say that I don't believe in aliens, but it really happened. So yes, I do believe that aliens exist.

5. If you could only use one utensil for the rest of your life (knife, spoon, or fork) which would it be?
I eat most food with my hands anyway. The only thing I really use utensils for is soup. Sometimes I'll use a spoon for pizza. Seriously though, I think I'd have to choose the utensil that I designed. it's a combination of a fork and a knife. I mean, if they can make a damn "spork", then I can make my "knork". it's a fork with a knife's blade on one of the outermost tines. The blade is a bit recessed however, so that you will not cut the side of your mouth on it while you are dumping food down your gullet. So yeah, I'd go with knork.

So that's it for the interview. here are the rules, so that I can ask people some awesome questions...

The Official Interview Game Rules
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Just A Few Days Late...

2005-05-23T09:31:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know I said I'd post every three days, but you know what? I lied. Suckers.
In all honesty, I had planned on it, but I'm only married to one of you, so I'm not too worried about it. It's been hot enough to use the pool lately, so we've been in there a lot. I'm going to rant in a minute, but first, I'm going to offer a little bit of background.

I'm not afraid to admit that I'm a big nerd. I've had a bad habit that has spanned my entire lifetime. Collecting stuff. Sports cards, comic books, action figures, Star Wars memorabilia, CDs, etc. Most of those collections have died off, but of course, I found something else to collect, which is unfortunately been the most expensive of all of them. I thought it would be fun to collect video games. I grew up in an era when video games were first surfacing, and they were a big part of my childhood. I don't play them anywhere near as much as I used to, but I do here and there when I find time. My collection has gotten pretty large, and Christa was kind enough to let me use our second living room as my gaming room and storage area.

As you can see, it's pretty crazy, and I have to give her a lot of points for this, considering that she isn't all that fond of video games in the first place. I very scarcely remember my real dad buying our first Atari way back in 1983. Then my little brother and I bonded with Super Mario back in 1987, and we've both played games since. I imagine most people think that it's pretty retarded that I'm 28 and still play with toys, but hey, at least I don't bowl. Anyway, over the past two years of collecting, I've found that eBay is one of the better places to find deals on harder-to-find games and older systems. A really good friend of mine recently gave me an awesome Sega Master System from way back in 1986. Back in the day, I always preferred this system to the more popular NES, so receiving this as a gift was really, really cool. Unfortunately, eBay is about the only place you can find games and accessories for the older systems like this anymore. So I take a look around there from time to time, to see what I can find, and to get a general idea what the market value for stuff I already have is. eBay has gotten CRAZY. And here is where my rant begins...

Number 1 - Don't quadruple the god-damned shipping cost! If you're trying to sell something for a certain price, mark the price at what you want for it, and charge actual shipping. DON'T charge me $0.01 for the item, and think I'm stupid enough to believe that a 3 ounce cable costs $7.99 to ship! I know, for a fact, that it isn't iron-plated. You don't think, even for a second, that I'm going to "figure it out" when it shows up with two 34 cent stamps on it?!
Number 2 - Don't try to sell me some stupid get-rich-quick scheme. Seriously, who are these people that spend $15 on this shit?! On top of that, if you don't have a picture of an actual product you are selling, don't put your freakin' face up there where the picture goes. All that does, is give me an identity to be pissed off. Even more, DON'T disguise your bullshit auction as something legitimate, that's just fucking stupid.
Number 3 - "Mint condition" isn't a term that should be thrown around lightly. If you're selling something that comes in a box, and the box is all banged up, it is NOT in mint condition. Mint condition means that whatever you are selling should look like it came from the store when it was originally sold. Are these people really stupid enough to think that when the item shows up at my door, I won't know the difference? A lot of these assholes prey on the chances that you won't want to deal with the trouble of returning it, so they could care less. Which brings me to...
Number 4 - Feedback. Whose bright fucking idea was this? Feedback is like communism, it looks nice on paper, but it works about as well as a Richard Simmons diet. The fact that anyone you "do business with" can leave whatever feedback they want, for whatever reason they want is ridiculous. On top of that, it's a pain to have it withdrawn when some jerk-off leaves a negative feedback bacause you didn't e-mail him within 20 minutes of the end of the auction, so he could tell you he wasn't planning on paying for 37 days. Yeah, that really happened to me. Another neat thing about feedback is retaliation. It's always pleasant when someone knows they are going to fuck you over, and waits to leave you feedback until they see if you are going to leave a negative first. If you do, they do, just because they can. Even if you paid immediately, and followed all of the auction terms, if you leave a negative feedback because they shipped your item four weeks after you paid for it, you can bet their logic will tell them that you deserve the negative because you left them one. I still have a 100% feedback rating after 261 transactions, and believe me, it hasn't been easy.
Number 5 - If something is a bootleg from Hong Kong, just say so in the fucking description! It saves me a lot of time looking into it to find out for myself.
Number 5 - If your English is THAT broken, use the damn spell check.

I could go on and on, but this rant doesn't even apply to everyone, plus I have yardwork to do. I might get another post up later today, we'll see what happens.

A Happy Belated Birthday...

2005-05-13T00:50:00.000-07:00

I met Marissa when she was about five and a half months old. Christa and I hadn't started a romantic relationship yet, but it was on it's way. I met her at the park, and it was the first real interraction I had ever had with a child that young. I was bewildered, infatuated, and smitten. Her real dad chose not to be around during this time, and as my relationship with Christa got more serious, so did my relationship with Marissa. I missed the first five months, but was sure to not miss anything else after. First time crawling, first steps, first words, and every first after that. She was my first child. We never promoted her calling me "daddy", so instead, she has always called me "Bee Bee", which was her first incarnation of "Bryan". I was carrying her down the street at night the first time she counted to ten, it was Christmastime, and we were counting the houses on the street that had lights up. She's only gotten more brilliant since. I couldn't possibly be more proud of her.

She's not like any of the other kids that are her age. She's never mean. She reads at a seventh grade level. She's seen nearly every episode of Friends. She uses words like "hydraulic" in sentences frequently. She surfs the net. She's been in ballet, dance class, and karate, and is always willing to try something new (unless we're talking about food, lol). She's the BEST big sister EVER, and loves family time. She rocks at Pictionary, and will take you down playing Mancala. She's smart enough to try to cheat at Chutes and Ladders though, so we don't play that anymore. She'd give you the shirt off her back, if she thought you needed it more than she did. She knows who Deftones are, can recite the Killers' "Somebody Told Me", and will frequently ask to listen to a CD from my collection at random. Same thing with movies. Her request last night, was Shaun Of The Dead, which we watched, and laughed and laughed. She wants to be Meatwad from Aqua Teen Hunger Force this year for Halloween. I might be a Moononite.

I have no idea what my life would be like without her, but I'm lucky that I'll never, ever find out. Last year, I started giving her flowers for her birthday. I sent them to her Kindergarten class. Six tulips, one for each year since her birth. This year, I sent three tulips, three daisies, and a rose to her first grade class, she really gets a kick out of it.

She's the most incredible 7 year-old you could possibly imagine. Happy birthday Belly-Bot, I love you.

Aquarium Of The Pacific '03

I Know, I Know...

2005-05-10T00:33:00.000-07:00

It has recently come to my attention that people DO notice if I don't post. I really don't mean to be a slacker, but things have been really busy around here. I've been really, really bad about commenting as well, I'm out of touch with the blogger world. I have an idea though...
I'm going to try to post at least once every three nights. I know I'm a long-winded sonofabitch, so I'm going to give myself one hour to post. If I'm not done writing in an hour, I'll stop where I am and post it. May not be complete or coherent, but it'll be something. It's not as forced as it sounds though, I really do love my blog, it just seems like there's always something else I need to do.

I'm not sure if anyone's noticed, but I've been changing the line below the title of my blog every time I post. If someone can tell me where all of the quotes are from over the next two weeks, they'll get a prize. I just want to see if anyone can do it.

So what's new you ask? Birthdays. May is a bastard, lemme tell you. The 11th, Marissa's birthday (7), the 14th, Christa's birthday (not my business to tell you), the 15th, Jen's birthday (25?), the 19th, my sister's birthday, and the 29th, Phoebe's birthday (1). Jesus Christ, people must really get down in July. I give Marissa flowers for her birthday every year, one for each year old she is. Last year I sent them to her school, and this year I'm doing the same, I have to remember to call them in tomorrow. She also wants a drum set. Um. I think if we were to buy her a drum set, it would be considered masochistic. Christa wants to get her some tambourines. I'm frightened. I have a few ideas for what to get Christa, but I'm still working on Phoebe. Christa's dad said that she's too young to know the difference, and that she doesn't need any presents. A smack to his mouth was nearly in order. If you're a parent, and you aren't getting your child any gifts on his/her first birthday, I will be paying you a visit, and not the Santa Claus or Tooth Fairy kind.

The Kraken opened my eyes a bit wider to an injustice that is being done to me each time I shop at Best Buy. Anyone know what we're talking about before I have to say it? Been there recently? Go look at your receipt. It has fucking chapters. It's like nine feet long. As evidenced by the picture below, my receipt today was actually much taller than my purchases.

As a matter of fact, it's taller than my purchases even when folded in half. For the sake of curiousity, I got Christa's measuring tape out. 21 never-ending inches long! I think that's almost as tall as Phoebe. After my transaction was completed, and they gave me my receipt/novel, I tracked down a Best Buy manager. I wanted to know why they do this to us. The manager was a young girl, maybe 24 years-old. She didn't understand my question. After a few minutes, I grew tired of her over-explanation of the "exciting survey" at the bottom, where I "have a chance to win a $500 Best Buy gift certificate." Do you want to know why I'm not interested? If I were to somehow win their stupid survey contest, you know what I'd get after I made my purchases? Yep, a 937 foot receipt that they could use to follow me home with. Once I got home with the top end of the receipt, the bottom end would just be leaving the fucking store.

The ice cream truck rolled by today, so Marissa and I flagged it down, and got ice cream for all of us. I got the Powerpuff Girls bar, just so you know. Phoebe is breast fed, so she can't have dairy. Wanting to share my ice cream, I had to pick something that had no milk in it. I promise that's the only reason I got the one with the Powerpuff Girls on it. Really. So Phoebe is obsessed. I have no earthly idea where she puts is all, but that kid is completely and totally obsessed with food. Food, drink, crumbs, dirt, sand, bugs, pretty much anything that she can fit into her mouth hole. Don't believe me? Ask KB, she saw me have to pry the sand from Phoebe's hands while she tried to shovel it into her mouth in the sandbox at Elaine's house. So, I shared my ice cream. She didn't so much eat it as paint her face with it. She nearly had an anuerysm when it was gone.

She also has an affinity for all things Starbucks. She totally freaks out for it. Once she sees the green straw, it's like letting Michael Jackson into a cub scouts meeting. She doesn't even know what's in those cups, but she will crawl across the entire front yard to try to get her hands on one.

That's about it for tonight. I should already be in bed, but I figure that if I didn't finally post tonight, I'd probably just keep putting it off.
Sorry honey.

"Can You Spare..."

2005-04-20T02:57:00.000-07:00

I had a very strange encounter this evening. Before I go into details, let me provide a bit of background. Please read on though, it gets interesting at the end...

I had my first experience with homelessness when I was about nine, and it's one of the only truly clear memories I possess. That's not to say that I had never seen it, but I had my first real encounter with it at that age. Before my mother passed away, once per week, our family would pick up a take-out pizza. Sometimes my mom would go to pick it up, and sometimes my stepdad would go, but I ALWAYS went, without fail. My stepdad liked to go to the Straw Hat in the middle of the city, and mom liked to go to the Little Ceasar's downtown. Downtown was not a "bad" area, but it was worse off than the middle of the city was, and you could tell by looking around. I always liked downtown, because even at the age of nine, it had more character than the rest of the city to my eyes. One evening, while my mom and I were getting out of the car to go grab us some pepperoni goodness, she was approached by a very haggard middle-aged man, whom I heard ask her for some change, stating that he was hungry. She replied "I'll see how much change I have after we get our pizza, I hope that helps." And inside we went. At that age, I never wondered whether or not everyone in the world had enough food to eat, or a place to sleep at night, because frankly, it just never occurred to me. When we got inside, I asked my mom why the man didn't have enough money to buy his own food. She explained to me that she had seen the man downtown for the past several years, drinking whiskey outside of the local liquor stores. She also told me that she had given him money on a few occasions, only to see him walk inside a gas station, and use the money to buy beer. I was nine, but I knew what beer was, I wasn't stupid, just naive. I asked her why he would lie to people, because like I said, I was naive. She explained that the man wasn't lying entirely, and that he probably was hungry, and didn't have a home to sleep at. This shocked me, and made me scared for the man, as I worried that he would starve. My mother and I talked about this as we waited for the pizza, and she explained that she hadn't brought very much money with her (as we didn't have much to begin with while I was growing up), and had enough to cover the pizza, but not much else. I got to thinking, and asked her if we could give the man what we had left after we bought the pizza. My mother was always a very generous woman, and smiled when she told me that we would. When my mother paid for the pizza, the woman behind the counter handed her only coins as change, so I knew it could not be more than a dollar. I thought about the price of our pizza, and how little a dollar was when you needed to buy food. As we made our way toward the door, I reminded my mom that I had just been paid my allowance of $2.50, and asked if it would be okay with her if I gave it to the man. She stopped at the door and smiled at me. "I'm proud of you for thinking of other people, and wanting to be helpful, but I think that you should keep your money, and we'll give him the change from the pizza. I'll leave it up to you though, if that's what you would like to do with your allowance, the money is yours" she said. We walked out the door, and were met at our car by the man dressed in dirty. He said nothing as he waited for us to arrive at the car, but muttered a polite "thank you" as my mother handed him the change. I smiled at him as I reached into my pocket and pulled out my allowance, which I never left home without. The man looked confused as I offered the money to him, and glanced to my mom, as if for approval. She offered a polite smile, and nodded her head. "It's okay, you can have it", I said to the man. He took the money gently from my hand, still unsure, and put it into his pocket. "Thank you kind sir", he whispered to me as he turned around, and made his way out of the parking lot. My mom and I got into the car and buckled our seatbelts. "That was very nice of you" she said, without starting the car. I asked her why we weren't going home, and she replied "Wait, there's something I want you to see." She pointed to the man, who was making his way toward the liquor store a few shops down. We waited, and watched. A few minutes later, he emerged from the doorway carrying a brown paper bag, the contents of which we all know. She asked if I felt as if I had made a mistake giving the man my allowance. I told her that I did not. When she asked why, I explained to her that everyone in the world needs something to make them happy, even if it's just beer. "Maybe he didn't buy food, and maybe he lied to us, but if you look at him now, he's smiling", I said. We both seemed happy with this outcome, and we drove home. We ate our pizza, and afterward, I received another allowance.

Since the day that happened, I have always given panhandlers what I can spare. If I have change, or an extra dollar or two, I always hand it away. It's never mattered to me what they plan to do with it, so long as it's appreciated. It's a fucked up world we live in, and everyone needs some solace. I don't think that anyone should have to live on the street, even though I know that in reality, some of these people have done it to themselves. In a country with this much money floating around in the hands of the rich, it always amazes me that one person can have seven TVs in their SUV, while another person gets their lunch from a dumpster. Now, on to my point...

Tonight, Christa and I realized that we needed half & half for coffee in the morning, since we were almost out. She gave me a couple bucks, and asked if I'd mind running to the gas station and picking some up. I said "no problem" and grabbed the keys. On my way inside the shop, there was a woman lingering about outside, who said nothing to me as I entered. I bought the over-priced $2.79 gas station half & half with $3, which left me 21 cents. On my way out, I was prepared to hand the woman the change, but not at all prepared for what happened next. As I passed her, she quietly asked if she could ask me a question. "Sure" I replied. She asked me how old I was. Confused, I told her that I was 28. I thought maybe she was going to ask me to buy her beer or cigarettes. She didn't. "Well, see, I don't have anywhere to live, and I've been staying at this house where they charge me $10 a night to sleep". "Okay", I say. "I don't have the money tonight, and it's starting to get a little cold outside." I agreed that it was getting a bit cold tonight. "Do you think that maybe if I give you a blow job, you could give me $10?"

I was completely blindsided. Shocked. Speechless. Sad.

"My wife sent me down here with just enough money for what I bought. I have 21 cents left, and you're welcome to it." I put the change into her frail, unwavering hand. "Do you think you could get some money, and come back here for a blow job?" I was beginning to feel sick. "No, I can't. Like I said, I have a wife, and that's nothing I'd be willing to do, but thanks for the offer, I guess." At that point, I think she started mumbling something about Jesus, or where she was going to get the money. My heart sank as I drove home. I wish that I could have done something to help her, WITHOUT the blow job. I wish that Christa and I had the money to spare. I wish that you could trust a stranger in your house when you have kids. I wish that we had spare blankets. I wish that nobody takes that woman up on her offer. I wish our world were different.

Things would have to be pretty fucking horrible for you to have to offer sexual favors for money. And I guess they'd have to be just as bad for you to to have to accept sexual favors for money. I can't even explain how sad it makes me that there is a woman, less than a mile from my house, that has things rough enough to make those kind of offers. Maybe I'm too sensitive, but that's the same gas station that's been robbed six times. That's the same gas station where three women have been raped. That's the same gas station that I didn't have an extra $10 to help someone. Yeah, this is one fucked up world.

currently listening to:

Coffeegirl Compilation - Pink Stripes

A Look Back, With A Look Forward

2005-04-16T22:11:00.000-07:00

So I've been thinking alot lately about where I've come from, and how I've come to be the man that I am today. I've been accused of having a selective memory, which I inadvertently do at times, but it is not intentional. To be a bit more honest, however, I have a very, very bad memory, especially of the days when I was young. I can't clearly recall much of anything that occurred before 9th grade. Of course I have snippets and pieces here and there, but for the most part, it's pretty shoddy, and seems to get worse by the year. I was very, very close with my mother, but she passed away when I was 17, so I can't ask her to help me fill the holes of what I don't remember anymore. About all I have to look back on is a small shoebox containing roughly 20 or 30 photos of when I was a kid. There are more somewhere, but not in my possession. My waning memory has always been a huge problem for me, and is the thing I hate most about myself. I don't know if it's an actual memory problem, or if I've blocked things out unintentionally. Either way, I'm not happy about it. Anyway, my point for bringing this up, is that I'm getting older now, and sometimes, I worry that if it is an actual memory issue, that maybe it's hereditary, and there's a chance that it will affect our children. Christa and I have always been really good at taking a TON of photos of the kids, but I realized recently that we have a very scarce amount of video footage of them. I made DVDs out of the footage that we DO have recently, and it got me thinking about it. I ran across an impromptu "interview" that I did with Marissa last year. She decided that her life-size Barbie (which is the size of a six-year old) had been killed, and I decided that she was the investigator in charge of the case. The end result is absolutely hilarious, as she finally discovered that her doll had been killed by sharks. Inside our house. Afterward, she revealed that she had stepped in a puddle of poison, and had absorbed it through her skin, and the sharks had been responsible for the poison. It was really funny, and it made me sad that there is such a limited supply of home video in our house. Then I put my big silly brain to work...

Marissa and I have decided to make a feature-length film. It's going to be a James Bond-type spy movie, with her as the star. We're not looking for a DeNiro style performance here, but it'll be awesome regardless. I have to finish writing the script and hammering out the entire cast, but we are set to "start filming" by Friday. It's too bad The Kraken lives so damn far away, because we could really use a cameraman that rocks as hard as he does. I have already comissioned a good friend to handle the soundtrack, be a cast member, and help me with some of the editing. So far, I've been able to cast Christa, Phoebe, Robert, and myself. I'm still in the writing process, so if any of the locals out here want a piece of this, you're more than welcome. Marissa and I were designing the costumes earlier this evening, and Christa is going to use her craft-wizardry to help put some of them together. This should really be a ton of fun.

I had offered a copy of our wedding DVD to anyone who wanted one, but for some reason, it turned out to be the 1st DVD I've ever tried to copy, that just WILL NOT copy. So I'm not going to offer anyone a copy of the finished movie until I know I can clone it. I did find a few pictures from my childhood that I thought I'd post though, here they are...

This one's for you Kraken, to show how harcore I was back in '83.

Able to leap box fans in a single bound...

Are we sensing a theme here? The Hulk, '79

The Anus Of The House...

2005-04-03T00:32:00.000-08:00

Okay, I figure that after screwing all of you with my April Fool's joke, I owe you all a big, fat, angry rant. Actually, I'm just pissed, and need to vent. I can be a dick sometimes, and I realize this, but enough gets to be enough, and then I'm ready to snap. As I've said many, many times, I'm usually calm and easy going, but after awhile, I will plan on choking you. Let me explain...

Most of you are probably familiar with our living situation, but for those of you that aren't, let me provide a quick rundown...
Christa and I were living happily ever after in our comfortable apartment, then her parents got divorced. They decided to become complete and total idiots, separately from one another, rather than as a collective unit as they had been functioning before (sorry honey). Christa's mom kicked her dad out, and sent him to come live with us in our comfy apartment, which then became uncomfy. Christa's mom couldn't afford their house by herself, so we were offered a deal. Take over the mortgage, move in, and everybody wins. Her dad would act as a landlord, taking care of landlord-type issues, and even offered to take care of the pool and mow the lawns. We found some roommates, and moved on it. We were like the Jeffersons, with no theme music. Our roommates didn't work out, on account of them being total fucking idiots. Now we were stuck not being able to afford the place on our own. It's a two story, four bedroom house, with a pool, and a two car garage, which was way too much space for us anyway. All of our friends were already in comfy living situations, so we came up with the worst, stupidest idea EVER. I mean stupider than whoever came up with that movie with Britney Spears. Hey! Let's have your sister, her husband, and their baby move in! It'd be great!

NO! WRONG! Bad idea. We knew Christa's sister was a slob way back when, but we thought she had grown out of that phase. We were waay off, and had NO CLUE what we were in for.

Now see, we have the downstairs bedroom, and Marissa has one of the upstairs bedrooms. Kenny and Amanda have one of the other bedrooms upstairs, baby Kenny has the other, and they all share the upstairs bathroom. What this means, in essence, is that the entire upstairs, is one huge, disgusting, vile mess. Now, when I say "mess", you're probably thinking of your own cute, little-type mess. However, what I MEAN, is for you to imagine trash and garbage, with a little bit of stink on top, with a layer of nasty laundry, another layer of garbage, and then some lack of any history of cleaning, EVER, sprinkled on top. Now, pretend a ten-year-old lives up there, with ten-year-old ideas of responsibility, and a tendency to crap in their ten-year-old pants, take them off, and throw them in a bucket on the landing. Oh, and then have that ten-year-old take some food up there, with the crazy notion that some sort of fucking "house elf" will come clean it all up for him before it gets all moldy. Damn, too late, it's all moldy. But what the fuck, the ten-year-old just lives in it, waiting for the magical house elf. But you know what? There are no such thing as house elves. You know how I know? Because I'd have one by now if there were. Oh wait, since the stairs lead directly to the anus of the house, be sure to clutter them all up with your shit, just so everyone else has to look at it. Great, thanks for not overlooking that portion of the house that connects our two worlds.
Now, just for fun, allow the reality of the fact that the ten-year-old, is actually the embodiment of two 24-year-olds with a kid. Think I'm exxagerrating? Christa and I refuse to go upstairs, and have been refusing for the past few months, in fear of what might be up there. We gave up on our dishes that disappear into the house's ass a long time ago. There really is a bucket that fills with dirty diapers for a month before getting emptied. The last time I ventured up there, I saw cups and dishes scattered about, all filled with mold. I don't allow Marissa upstairs to her room anymore. Phoebe has never been upstairs in her entire life.

Did I mention the garage? See, Christa's sister's husband thinks he's some hot shit poker player. I've only played cards one-on-one with him twice, and spanked him both times. So he and his friends have "poker night" in our garage every chance they get. This is usually at least once per week, usually more. We're not total fuckers though, and we understand that everyone needs a social life. So now, our garage has become another one of their rooms. And it's an utter disaster at all times, which is where the problem lies. Want proof? I took this picture five minutes ago.

We let them "borrow" a set of chairs and a table of ours, because it's perfect for playing cards. All four chairs? Broken and strewn about the garage, that's why you see white plastic chairs. I have a mini-fridge that Christa bought me for my office at my last job. Since I'm out of my fucking mind, I allowed the fridge to go to the garage for beer, so all of his friends wouldn't be in and out of our house at all hours of the night. The fridge? Near ruined. Unfortunately, the washer and dryer are in the garage, in the corner. You know what that means? When we want to do laundry we have to climb over all of the shit, empty beer bottles, and trash to get there. Yes McDonald's, I'm lovin' it. Keep in mind that this is just a blog entry, and I sure as hell haven't covered everything.

Wanna know what the kicker is? It's Christa's sister, so it's not like we can just kick them out. Nope, we're stuck with them, until one of us willingly leaves. Christa is pregnant again now, and shouldn't have to live in a house where any of this exists. For the most part, it's all in it's own place, and we don't have to deal with it, but it does flow over into the rest of the house, and that's what REALLY pisses me off. For example, I spent an hour each of the last two nights cleaning the kitchen. Christa hasn't felt well, and I don't want her having to clean up ANYTHING, I don't even want her to get up if she doesn't want to. Just for the sake of complete understanding, here's before and after shots from both nights...
Night 1 before...

Night 1 after...

Night 2 before...

Night 2 after...

I'm just throwing this in for good measure. This was a bowl of cheese discovered on the counter. Notice that I am suspending it completely with the spoon...

Now, I can't think of a single reason for cheese to EVER look like that, whether it's sat out overnight or not.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining that I had to clean up. I'm complaining that the fuckers from upstairs NEVER do. EVER. I insist that Christa be exempt from cleaning up lately, but I wouldn't want her having to clean up shit like that if she were feeling like a million bucks.

Anyone see why I'm so pissed?

* This post reflects MY opinion on this matter. Christa is more tolerant about all of this than I am, and this post does not claim to reflect her opinions.

The End Of The Line...

2005-04-01T08:51:00.000-08:00

I've decided that I'm going to go ahead and close my blog's doors. I have found that it just doesn't do much for me anymore, and it's more of a pain to try to update than it's worth. I just don't have the energy or patience to write much here anymore. I finally got around to updating my links last night, and as I was doing it, I was thinking, "man, this is a lot of work for nothing." This blog isn't really important to anyone but me, and I don't have to think about it for very long to realize that it's just not that important even to me. Every minute that I spend blogging, are minutes that I could be spending watching movies, or doing other things that I enjoy.
I'm thankful for all of the friends that I've met here, and I wish you all the best. I haven't told Christa yet, but I don't think she'll mind. Everyone has been so great, that I'm sad to be leaving, but it's for the best. Thanks again, and goodbye,
-Bryan

What DAY Is It??!

2005-03-29T01:05:00.000-08:00

We're finally back from Vegas, and I swear to jesus (pronounce "hay-seuss"), I'm soo tired that I've been having trouble remembering things like what day it is, or what letter my name starts with. On the bright side, however, this past weekend was the most fun I've had in as long as I can remember (which, right now, spans about 5 hours, but I'm referring more to my general memory). Christa and I had a blast, the kids had a blast, we had tons of fun with our friends, and the only place I REALLY made any money was at the buffet. The wedding was beautiful, romantic, emotional (three of five groomsman cried), and long overdue. Technically, I only had four groomsman, but my friend Alan was as much of a groomsman as any of my others. Here's a shot of Alan preparing to have an alcoholic beverage...

Aside from some problems with our hotel, a directionally-impared officiant, and a Starbucks that closed by 9:00pm, everything was perfect. Chista was more beautiful than any words I can come up with to describe her, and our friends and wedding party were amazing. Phoebe had so much fun, I think she was pissed that we had to come home at all. She was pretty mellow the first night, but got a little crazy by Saturday. She matched me beer for beer and shot for shot for the first two hours of the reception dinner. Here's what she looked like after her sixth Red Bull & vodka...

Phoebe drank Marissa under the table on Sunday night, and Marissa passed out in the hotel room and missed walking down the strip with the rest of us. Phoebe was all about the lack of an "open container law", so she kept drinking all night, and passed out a few minutes before this photo was taken...

The Parkers were a ton of fun, and went almost everywhere with us. They love the kids almost as much as the kids love them, so the trip was infinitely easier with all of their help. Jen, Troy, and Alan were also really great with the kids, and Alan even got over his fear of babies by the end of the weekend. Robert and I did a bit of low stakes gambling a few nights, but didn't turn much of anything over. Sunday night, Christa was beat after we walked the strip, and turned in early. Before she crashed, she suggested that I let the sins of Vegas claim me, and that I go downstairs and gamble for a bit. I met Troy and Jen at the blackjack table, and played there for awhile, until the table we were playing at was about to close at 3:30. We moved on to roulette, and I moved on to about 16 drinks. It was a TON of fun, and I went upstairs at 5:00 with $100 I didn't come down with. Unfortunately, I was a freakin' jerk, and stayed out waaay later than I had planned, and left Christa in the room with a sleeping baby, which was totally unfair. She was pretty understanding though, and only "grounded" me for an hour. Robert gave me this hug to make it all better...

We took a pretty fair amount of pictures, so Christa and I will be taking turns putting them up. We also got a copy of the wedding on DVD. It clocks in at under four minutes, but if anyone is interested in a copy, let me know, and I'll mail you one. Well, I'm having trouble figuring out what time it is, so I'll write more on this later...
-B

When It Rains... It Pours...

2005-03-24T19:49:00.000-08:00

You always hear people talking about bad news and unfortunate events coming in waves, but I have found, over the last few days that it also works in reverse. the last couple days have been the happiest that I can remember in my life. I am getting married to the love of my life in less than 48 hours, and we just found out that we are having a third child. The world was a blur today, a hazy span of beautiful, and everything seemed to move a bit slower. Even sitting in traffic this morning, I was listening to the new Gratitude CD on my MP3 player, realizing that although I was on my way to work, and none of the cars on the freeway were moving, it was as if the world was stopping so that I could breathe it all in, and appreciate all of what I have. The work day was a breeze, as nobody had the ability to knock me off of the cloud I was floating on. Nothing could ruin my mood, and before I knew it, I was off of work, heading home to prepare for a makeshift bachelor party. I stopped on my way home to get Christa some flowers and coffee, and the world was still wavy, crisp, and perfect. I wanted to blog more of this out, but I will find time after I get home tonight, and everything goes as planned I will be far into a drunken celebration. All is well in the world, and I couldn't be happier. I love my life, I love my soon to be wife, I love my kids, I love my friends, and I love the way the world feels right now. I will be back to write more later.
-B

Updated For Your Pleasure!

2005-03-17T22:40:00.000-08:00

So I've been really, really sick this past week. Like, miss work for a few days sick. I rarely get sick, so when I do, it hits me like the realization that O.J. did it. I've been just laying around trying to get better all week, until today, I figured I HAVE to go back to work, because I HATE being out sick. I hadn't really been eating much either (I wouldn't necessarily say I'm a "fan" of vommitting), so on the way to work, Robert and I picked up our usual coffee, which hadn't been affecting me too badly during my sickness. By the time we arrived at work (roughly a 30 minute trip), I was already feeling queasy and weak. I figured, hey, maybe I feel weak and dizzy because I've eaten the equivalent of one meal over the last four days. So Robert and I got breakfast burritos from the "lunch truck". Once again, this is something that is done normally, without side effect. By 9:30, things in the office that aren't supposed to spin were spinning all over the place, so I excused myself to the restroom for a short vommitting break. It was loads of fun. When I came back to the office, my manager said that I didn't "look so well", and suggested that I just lay my head down on my desk for awhile until I felt better. When I woke up an hour later, I was urged to go home and get some more rest. It took me almost fifteen minutes to figure out where I was, get my stuff together, and stagger to the time clock. I'll just say that the 45 minute drive home was not pleasant, easy, or fun. I've spent the rest of the day until now on the couch, just laying there trying to get some "rest". 20 minutes ago, I realized that "resting" on the couch was not making me feel ANY better, so I decided to get up and move around, which helped less. Now, I'm sitting, and I feel like I can at least write a post before having to lie back down when I get dizzy again. I'm probably going to have to call out sick from work again tomorrow, because I feel worse than I did at this time last night. My boss is either going to understand and not care, or get really, really pissed for ten minutes, then be over it. I hate missing work even more than I hate being sick, and MAN do I HATE being sick. Anyway, enough about that.
I have been slacking so much on keeping up with blogging, that for a few days, I didn't miss it, because I hadn't done it in so long. I realize as I'm typing this, that I miss it very much, and will try better to keep up. I was tempted to write this post as Christa, writing as me (see comments, last post), but thought that would require too much brain activity for my current condition, so I figured I'd just settle for an update. My stomach is growling like crazy right now, but that bastard stomach isn't going to trick me into getting sick again. Bastard.
So during my endless hours on the couch, Christa joined me for a movie (she's such a sweetheart) that I'd been wanting to watch for awhile now. It wasn't at all up her alley, so I have to give her a lot of credit for sitting through the whole thing with me. It's a movie from the 70s with Robert Redford, and George Segal called "The Hot Rock". It's one of my new favorite movies, and if you haven't already seen it, I highly recommend it.
The countdown to the wedding continues, and I'm getting more and more excited. The fact that it's in Vegas is awesome, the fact that most of my best friends will be there is awesome, the fact that we will have a TON of fun is awesome, but more than anything, I just can't wait to finally be married to my sweetheart for real. We've been calling each other "husband" and "wife" for quite some time now, but now we actually will be, and that is a wonderful feeling. on top of that, this will be Christa's first-ever trip to Vegas, so that will be great all by itself. Regretfully, I couldn't quite talk her into letting an Elvis impersonator actually marry us, but I just go ahead and count it as a loss. I can't really complain, I got to pick the hotel, the tuxes, and half of the guests, si I figure I'm doing pretty damn well. She's done an amazing job with everything else (ya know, all of the hard stuff). I won't get into it, but only one thing has disappointed me about this wedding so far, so I think we're doing really well. On a side note, Becky, your invitation was returned to us, so that's why you haven't gotten it yet.
I received a really cool package from The Boutros, containing a double-disc set of CDs. Normally, I would post pictures, but I'm starting to feel queasy again, and don't feel like dealing with the camera right now, sorry. They are really cool though, and very appreciated. As soon as I feel better, both discs will be uploaded to the Dell DJ. Speaking of feeling better, I'm going to get the Polaris Music Satellite up and running as soon as I do. It's long overdue, and I've flaked out on some e-mails that I was supposed to send regarding it. I promise it'll be explained soon.
As for now, queasy has gotten worse, so I'm headed back to lie down. Hope every one is well. -B

currently listening to:

Zero 7 - When It Falls

Comments on Comments.

2005-03-16T10:59:00.000-08:00

Haloscan commenting has been added to my blog, courtesy of Daphne_Blue.

No Longer The "Least Updated Blog"

2005-03-11T23:04:00.000-08:00

Wow, I feel like I haven't posted an entry in months. Things have been really, really busy for me lately, and I had to keep my priorities in order, but tonight I have finally made time to get a few words up. I have alot that I want to say, but not much time to do it, so if you'll forgive me, this may be more than mildly choppy.
First, I feel like I should explain where I've been. Most anyone reading this knows that I started a new job a few weeks ago, and it's a job that I'm really actually enjoying. I work for an ambulance company (on the office-side of things) from 8 to 5, Tuesday through Saturday. That's only an eight hour workday, but I spend an average of 2 hours commuting each way every day. It wouldn't be all that big of a deal, but my boss at Starbucks offered to let me stay on there at nights, and after Christa and I discussed it, we decided it was a good idea to take him up on the offer. So, on days where I work both jobs, I leave the house at 6:30am, and usually get home around 1:00am. Needless to say, on this schedule, whatever free time I've been able to scrounge together, I've been spending with Christa and the kids. That's the rough part. The work, I don't mind. Only seeing Christa for 15 minutes a day, having Phoebe look at me like I'm the mailman, and missing 66% of Marissa's karate lessons is what's hard. I feel like everything's passing me by, and I can't move fast enough to keep up. On top of that, Christa has been having to do EVERYTHING around the house by herself lately, and that's just not fair. I'd write more on this, but I have to be up for work by 6am again tomorrow. Being a Saturday, traffic should be light enough for a half-hour commute, but I won't make it if I don't stop for coffee on my way. All of that aside, I have a few things that I want to say to some of the incredible people that I've met here, and some people that I know in real life. I figure that since I don't have time to e-mail everyone what I want to say to them individually, hopefully, they'll find it in here.
First of all, to Coffeegirl and KB, you two are too great for words. It's still crazy to me that it's possible to meet such amazing people online. I never got a chance to properly thank Coffeegirl for all of the incredibly nice things you've said and done for Christa and I. I have made it a point to NEVER, EVER peek in the closet where "the dress" resides, even though my curiousity yelled at me and punched me in the face the other day. I also got the DVD you sent, and was 1,000 times more excited about it that the copy of Space Ghost Season one that Blockbuster sent the same day. I've been irritated that I haven't been able to watch it yet, but Saturdays at work are really slow, so I'm taking it, and the laptop with me tomorrow, and will happily be getting paid to finally watch it. Thank you again, I love it. KB, the package you sent us was super cool, and I wanted to take the opportunity to thank you as well. Phoebe's shirt is so cute, that I almost made her take it off because it wasn't fair to other babies who have no sense of style. I think we're going to use the photo album as our wedding album, since it's so damn cool. And the Hello Kitty coloring book? Marissa already colored me a picture to hang up in my office at work. Thank you again.
On my last day off, Christa put me on the phone with Elaine to give her directions to our coffeeshop. At first, I was like, "who the fuck is Elaine? and why are we meeting her?". Then, just as my stupidity was finished rearing it's ugly head, Christa told me it was Elaine from Blogger. After I nearly pooped my pants with surprise that we were going to meet our first fellow "Bloggerer", we piled into the car and drove off to meet two of the coolest people I've ever been on a "blind play date" with. Well, the ONLY people we've ever been on a "blind play date" with, but that does not effect their status on the cool-o-meter. The five of us got along so well, you'd think we'd known each other for years. Elaine is so down to earth, funny, and likable, that's it's no surprise that her cute little girl Lily is so sweet, fun, and smart. We had a blast, and are hoping to plan another day where KB and boys can join in. Hell, maybe Steve T too, since he's just as close. Speaking of Steve T...
I got your e-mail, and have been meaning to reply, but if you've read this far, you know why I haven't yet. I totally understand why you can't make it to the wedding, and completely respect your reasons. We'll go out for coffee or something instead sometime.
Speaking of bloggers that were invited to the wedding, we're not expecting any of you to actually make it, so don't feel badly if you can't. The invitation that was sent to The Kraken and Jennifer W.K. was returned to us, even though I used the same address as the CDs I sent. Go figure. We ARE having the wedding recorded however, so I will be sending out DVDs of it to whoever's interested in a copy.
Okay, well, I'm falling asleep now, and have to be up in a few hours. I'll really try to write more this weekend. My last post mentioned a new music thing I had in mind too, and I'll be trying to put more of that together as well. I added a seperate blog for it, and I'll get something up there as soon as I can. Have a good weekend everyone.
-B

currently listening to:

At The Drive-In - in/CASINO/OUT

Squeezing Out A Few Minutes...

2005-02-24T23:14:00.001-08:00

I used to think that phrases like "there's not enough time in the day" were just clichéd and stupid. Well, they are, but that doesn't mean they can't be true. I haven't had very much time to write anything in here, as I've found free time to be very scarce the past week and change. Most everyone is familiar with the fact that I've started a new job, am helping plan a wedding, and have a family I'm trying to find time to spend with. It took me two and a half hours to travel 47.25 miles home from work today. That's an average of 18.9 miles per hour if my math is correct. Let me just tell you, it's FUCKING RETARDED to spend that much time in traffic. It's been raining ALOT here in California, and I'm sure that when it's finally done raining, my commute time will cut back drastically, as we all know that people in Southern California have absolutely NO idea how to drive in the rain, or really at all, for that matter. I've been planning to write a rant on traffic for a loooong time now, but I've been so busy, that even though I have almost all of it plotted out in my head, I just haven't had the energy for it lately. For example, I left my house at 6am this morning, and got home at 8pm. Yesterday, 6am departure, 9:30pm return home. If you take that, and subtract my normal 6 hours of sleep out of the full 24 hour day, that leaves me an average of 2 and a half hours each day to spend with the family and anything else I need/want to take care of. I'm not meaning to complain, I'm just having to cut out alot of things that I'd rather not, and my blog has suffered a bit.
I have, however, had a lot of time to think while sitting in traffic, and have come up with a new idea. It's called "The Polaris Music Satellite", and I have rather high hopes about it. I'm way tired, and don't really want to go into the details right now, but I will get info out about it this weekend, along with the traffic post. If you you want to know more in the meantime, type your e-mail into this box, and click submit query. Or if that's a pain, then just send an e-mail to polaris.music.satellite@gmail.com. Either way, I'll get back to you about it this weekend..

As far as the upcoming wedding goes, don't be surprised if some of you receive invitations in your mailboxes. I have almost no family, and many of my friends have already backed out, so Christa and I thought that it would be cool to see if any "bloggers" want to come party with us in Vegas, especially ones close enough to drive there. It's a long shot, but it'd sure be fun as hell. I also wanted to issue a very special "thank you" to Coffeegirl. Christa was having a hard time deciding on a wedding dress that she liked, and Coffeegirl (rocking as much as she does), actually offered to send Christa her wedding dress! Christa looked at the pictures and LOVED it. Everyone that reads this should go and tell Coffeegirl how amazing she is.

Anyway, that's about it for tonight, as I'm creeping up on the beginning of what should be my 6 hours sleep for the night. I'll catch up this weekend, and hopefully I'll feel a bit less out of touch. Hope everyone is well...

currently listening to:

Gratitude - Gratitude

Movie Meme & A Big Thanks...

2005-02-19T20:32:00.000-08:00

Okay, so here, as promised, is the movie meme, as put together by my friend and yours, The Kraken. I had two of the three people I tagged for the music meme fill it out, so if I can get the same 66%, then hopefully, the good word of The Kraken will be spread. Because I'm just that way, I added in (the last) three questions for shits and giggles. Here goes...

Total number of movies in your collection:
138 Store bought DVDs. Plus some, um, others. We have some VHS too, but those don't really count.

The last DVD you bought:
"Saw", this crazy-ass horror movie that just came out.

The last movie you watched before reading this message:
Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Season One, Disc 1, and Jackie Brown (watched both at work)

Name 5 movies you watch often, or that mean something to you:
1. Fight Club - A nearly perfect movie. The book was better, but as far as movies go, this is incredibly watchable. over and over. Brad Pitt proved that he wasn't the pansy boy I thought he was going to be after that "A River Runs Through A Legend Fall", or whatever that crap was called. Ed Norton secured himself a spot in the Henry-Rollins-Hall-Of-Fame with this movie, American History X, Rounders, and The 25th Hour.

2. Memento - An almost-nearly perfect movie. It was something that hadn't been done a hundred times before, and was extremely well-executed. Little-known actors showed that you don't have to be an a-lister to act your ass off. You GO Joe Pantaliano!

3. Star Wars (Episodes IV-VI) - I'm with The Kracken on this. These movies embody my childhood, and bring back all kinds of memories. Then, when I was older, my little brother took an interest in them. So we bonded while watching and quoting them all of the time. They are still a thousand times better than the new ones.

4. The Boondock Saints - One of the first movies that attempted the genre, and got it right. Another cast full of little known actors, showing they can hold their own against the big dogs. Willam Dafoe's performance in this film is priceless, and the script is incredibly well-written. See it if you haven't.

5. Heat - Robert DeNiro AND Al Pacino?!? I shouldn't have to say anything more than that, but I will. This is just an amazing movie, with an amazing script, cast, performances, and story. And hey, Rollins is in it. Again, see it if you haven't.

The first 5 best movie lines that come into your head:

1) "This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time." - Tyler Durden from Fight Club.

2) "Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need." - Tyler Durden from Fight Club.

3) "Get busy living, or get busy dying." - Andy DuFresne from The Shawshank Redemption.

4) "I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning, I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see. And, uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll crack your fuckin' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what? I'll split your fuckin' head open again. 'Cause I'm fuckin' stupid. I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do." - Nicky Santoro from Casino.

5) "So I hear dad's dead. Hey, is that egg nog?" - Raymond Hurdicure from Kids In The Hall Brain Candy.

What are your 3 favorite movies from the 80s:
1. Real Genius
2. Back To The Future
3. Teen Wolf

What was the first movie you ever bought:
Top Gun

What was the first DVD you ever bought:
Se7en

What's the worst movie you've ever seen:
Anything made in the last ten years with Steven Seagal or Jean Claude Van Damme.

Biggest letdown from a movie you were expecting to be MUCH better than it was:
Star Wars: Episode I

Make a short list of ten movies you think every human should see:
The (original) Star Wars Trilogy
The Indiana Jones Trilogy
Back To The Future
The Jerk
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Big Fish
The Usual Suspects
The Goonies
Fight Club
The Shawshank Redemption

Tag three people to fill this bitch out:
Daphne_Blue
Steve T
KB

Okay, that's all wrapped up. I paused during the writing of that to go check the mail for the day, and was met with a very welcomed surprise. I don't have to go into the way that our world works for anyone reading this to understand that courtesy, appreciation, or gratitude are not a part of today's culture. I was personally thanked by nearly everyone that I sent CDs to, even though that was in no way what I was trying to accomplish by sending them out. However, one person went a step further, and the sentiment meant a lot to me, so I thought I'd say something about it. I found this in my mailbox:

This is a "thank you" card that I received today from Steve T. I've made a lot of internet friends on Blogger, people that I feel like I know "in real life" because we all share so much with each other. It was really cool to get this card, because it felt like I was getting a card from an old friend that I haven't talked to in a long time. I almost feel like Steve T, The Kraken, Uncle Jay Razz, KB, and Coffeegirl are all people that I've been out to have a few beers with. Anyway, thank you again Steve, that was a really cool gesture, and was much appreciated.

currently listening to:

The Mars Volta - Frances The Mute

Quick (By My Standards) Update

2005-02-18T21:38:00.000-08:00

Greetings friends!
I started a new job this past week, and the commute is horrendous, so my time for blogging has been sadly diminished as of late. As a matter of fact, Workjunky and I now work for the same employer, an ambulance company a few cities away. According to Mapquest, it's a mere 47.27 miles from my doorstep, and the travel time is listed at 50 minutes. This is funny, considering that without the carpool lane, the drive isn't humanly possible in under 1.5 hours, and I drive really, really fast. Anyway...
Thanks for all of the kind words regarding the CDs. I'm working on some ideas for another one, possibly by mid-March or before, depending on what I come up with. I was also toying with the idea of a contest of some sort, but I'm not positive about it yet, we'll see how it works out. As far as the "personalized tracks" go, it seems to have worked out okay. The majority of people who requested CDs had filled in their music interests on their profile page, which is what I used as a reference point. If I had anything hard to find by a particular artist that was listed, I used that, if I didn't, I tried to find something similar in style to those that were mentioned. There were a few people that I had to guess with, and a few people received the same tracks, but for the most part, they were individually personalized. I'm off of work on Sunday and Monday, so expect more of an update then.
As for the Memes, thanks to The Kraken and Uncle Jay Razz for filling those out, I promise to get at the movie meme by Sunday.
Everyone else, have a good weekend, and be sure to check in on me by the end of the weekend, or sign my damn notify list!

currently listening to:

Far - Water & Solutions

Music Meme & The Sampler Follow-Up

2005-02-15T20:13:00.000-08:00

I was "tagged" by my honey for this Music Meme thing. That apparently means that I'm supposed to copy and paste it from her blog, fill it into mine, and tag three people to do the same. It's a pretty fun idea, but the only way someone will know that they're tagged is if they visit your blog, or if you hunt them down and tell them, which is probably what I'll do. Additionally, I saw a different variation of this on Jennifer W.K.'s blog, that had a question in it that wasn't on here, so I stole it, and added it in. Plus, I'm a bastard, so I added three questions that I made up at the end. Okay, here we go...

Music Meme

Total number of music files on your computer:
6,836 files. This excludes my CD collection, and MP3s burned to data discs. If I were to put all of it on the computer, I'd probably be looking at closer to 80,000 to 90,000 files, maybe more.

The last CD you bought:
Actually purchased? "Good News For People That Love Bad News" by Modest Mouse. Downloaded? "Funeral" by Arcade Fire.

The last song you listened to before reading this message:
"Pure" By Helmet

Name 5 songs you listen to often, or that mean something to you:
1. Anything off of At The Drive-In's "Relationship Of Command"
2. "PDA" by Interpol
3. "Understanding In A Car Crash" by Thursday
4. "This Apparatus Must Be Unearthed" by The Mars Volta
5. "No Ordinary Love" Sade cover by Deftones

The first 5 best lyrics that come into your head:
1) "The broken watch, you gave me, turns into a compass / it's two hands still point to the same time, 12:03, our last goodbye" Thursday - "Understanding In A Car Crash"
2) "I feel far away from you, so what else is new? / The moon is closer to the sun, than I am to anyone" Nada Surf - "80 Windows"
3) "Don't talk of worlds that never were / The end is all that's ever true" The Cure - "Burn"
4) "Soon my doubles will pull off all of my stunts" Far - "Water & Solutions"
5) If you've ever worked a desk job, you'll understand why I included these lyrics, in their entirety...
"Falling from the top floor your lungs
fill like parachutes
windows go rushing by.
people inside,
dressed for the funeral in black and white.
These ties strangle our necks, hanging in the closet,
found in the cubicle;
without a name, just numbers, on the resume stored in the mainframe, marked for delete.
please take these hands
throw them in the river,
wash away the things they never held
please take these hands,
throw me in the river,
dont let me drown before the workday ends.
9 to 5! 9 to 5!
and we're up to our necks,
drowning in the seconds,
ingesting the morning commute
lost in a dead subway sleep
Now we lie wide awake in our parents beds,
tossing and turning.
tomorrow we'll get up
drive to work,
single file
with everyday
it's like the last.
waiting for the life to start, is it always just always ahead of the curve?
please take these hands
throw them in the river,
wash away the things they never held
please take these hands,
throw me in the river,
dont let me drown before the workday ends.
just keep making copies
of copies
of copies
when will it end?
it'll never end,
'til it gets so bad
that the ink fills in our fingerprints
and the silouhette of your own face becomes the black cloud of war
and even in our dreams we're so afraid the weight will offset who we are
all those breaths that you took have now been canceled in your lungs.
last night my teeth fell out like ivory typewriter keys
and all the monuments and skyscrapers burned down and filled the sea.
save our ship
the anchor is part of the desk
we can't cut free,
the water is flooding the decks
the memo's sent through the currents
computers spark like flares
i can see them.
they don't touch me,
touch me.
please someone,
teach me how to swim.
please, don't let me drown,
please, don't let me drown."
Thursday - "For The Workforce, Drowning"

What are your 3 favorite songs from the 80s:
1. "Take On Me" - A-Ha
2. "Number One" - Chaz Jankel (Featured in the film Real Genius)
3. "I Ran" - A Flock Of Seagulls (don't bother, I already know it's lame)

What was the first album you ever bought:
Oingo Boingo - "Good For Your Soul"

What was the first CD you ever bought:
Guns N' Roses - "Appetite For Destruction"

3 people I'm gonna pass this to and why...
Nick S. (Because he is a fellow audiophile)
The Kraken (Same reason, fellow audiophile)
Unkle Jay Razz (Same reason, fellow audiophile)

Okay, that wraps up the "meme thing". Speaking of music though, I thought I'd update about the samplers I sent out. First of all, all 23 of them have been mailed, as of today (save for one, which was requested without an address). I'm well aware that I had originally said that they'd go out Monday, but I have been really, really sick, and they were free, so shut up. I mean that in the nicest way possible. There are 9 left, so if you didn't get one, there's a few left, but they'll be disc only. I had really wanted to do one of these samplers per month, but so far, I haven't figured out a way for it to work. I didn't really take into consideration how much it would cost for everything that was entailed (don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining or bitching). So far, the only thing I've been able to come up with, is to send just the disc itself (as the jewel cases, photo paper, and ink were where most of the cost came from), but that takes away alot of the creative fun for me. I don't know, maybe I'll figure out a way. Let me know if you have any ideas or suggestions. Or if anyone has any complaints about them, that's welcomed too, it'd be a good way to figure what to do differently next time.

currently listening to:

Faith No More - Angel Dust

My Valentine

2005-02-14T02:11:00.000-08:00

This post has been a long time coming, but I thought that Valentine's Day would be the perfect time for it.

Disclaimer: The following will be sappy and heartfelt. Those unable to tolerate should move on up to "the button" in the upper right corner. Thank you.

There's a certain someone in my life that deserves some of my words on what she means to me, published here, for everyone to read. I'm a lucky guy, and I'm not trying to flaunt that, but public appreciation is definitely in order. This is difficult to write, because there are a billion things I could say, but the right words are always hardest to find. I think I'll start at the beginning, for chronology's sake...
Christa and I met in the fall of 1998. We both frequented a coffeeshop in a city halfway between us, and had mutual friends that did the same. One night that I saw her there, she was sitting with a girl I had met a few times, and I figured that this, my friends, was a blatant opportunity. I was at a weird point in my life, and was stringing women together like christmas lights. I was young, stupid, and had come out of a serious relationship about 3/4 of a year earlier. I dated alot of girls during this time, but nothing ever felt serious or important. This particular night, however, all of that changed. I introduced myself into their conversation, and sat down with them. I learned that Christa had a newborn daughter, and a stupid, goddamned husband. At this time in my life, I normally would not have cared, gotten up, and moved on to a table of people I knew. But tonight, something was different, and I stayed, and listened some more. Everything changed that night. I was frustrated that she was married, but I figured that in a worst case scenario, I would be lucky to even be friends with this woman. All in the first night, she intrigued me, made me laugh, and tilted my small world on it's ear. I went to the coffeeshop frequently after that, hoping she'd be back sooner than later. After we'd seen each other there a few times, I told her I wanted to meet her daughter, and we exchanged phone numbers. The tides of fate changed, and around this time, I learned that she and her husband had split. We arranged to go to a nearby park, so I could meet her daughter Marissa, who was 5 months old at this time. The whole concept was foreign to me, because before Marissa, I had never cared this way or that about kids, and had virtually no experience with them. I fell in love with that kid the second I saw her. Christa let me give her some food, and take her in my arms on the jungle gym. My entire life spun that day, and feelings I had never felt, and thoughts I had never thought were all coming into play. We kept in contact over the phone, and saw each other when we'd both go out with mutual friends. I let each of the girls I was dating at the time fade into obscurity and oblivion as I tried to see Christa as often as I could. After a short while, I decided that I had to tell her how I felt, regardless of how recently she and her ex had split. One rainy night, a group of us were going to a pool hall together, and I decided it was time. At some point during the night, I told her that I wanted to talk to her sometime privately before we left. I was pretty sure that she already knew what the topic I had on my mind was, and that just made me more nervous. I had never been nervous talking to women before Christa, but something about her made me second-guess everything I had to say. On our way out, we stopped, under the eaves, in the rain, and I told her how I felt about her. When she told me she felt the same way, it felt like the black and white world melted into color, and everything but us was background noise. Her divorce was new, however, so dating would have to wait a while. As Christmas seeped in, "a while" became unaviodably less time than either of us had planned. Everything just felt too "right" to deny any longer. We went out one night, and came back to her parents' house. Christmas was right around the corner, so as we pulled up in her car, she had one of those Christmas dinner mints in her mouth. I decided that I should have one too, and asked her if I could have one. She leaned in closer to me, and offered me the one that was in her mouth. Without getting into too much more detail, we had our first kiss. To this day, it sticks out as one of the single most romantic memories I possess. The rest, as they say, is history.
There are more reasons that I love this woman than I can count, and for that, I am lucky. I vaguely remember what dating is like, and have all of those reasons not to miss it. I remember the way everyone dresses themselves up in pretenses and misrepresentations so that their date will be smitten, and hope for another date. These facades are in place for some time before the real person creeps out, and sometimes, this person is entirely different. People can keep this up for years, and then get divorced. With Christa, the more we saw each other, the more I realized that she wasn't going to change. She sent the real Christa out with me on our first date, and I fell in love with her so fast my head spun. She's gorgeous, brilliant, hilarious, elegant, charming, loyal, and honest. She's my best friend and my soul mate. There are many more things that I want to say, but those things can be said to her in person. For here though, Happy Valentine's Day sweetheart, I love you.
For everyone else, here are some pictures. Excuse the quality, as all of them were taken in an era before digital cameras were all the rage, and had to be scanned in...

Christa and I on her birthday four years ago.

Christa and I by the fire at the beach two years ago.

That's me on the left, Christa on the right.

I actually took that last picture at the zoo a few years back. I thought it was cute, and fit for the occasion, so I added it in. Happy Valentine's Day all!

currently listening to:

The Cure - Mixed Up

Available While Supplies Last!

2005-02-08T13:43:00.000-08:00

Now available for your listening pleasure..
SEE UPDATE BELOW

"The Arc Of Polaris CD Sampler 2005"

Act now, and for no money down, and no money per month, you can own your very own copy of this excellent compilation. Order now, and receive 0% interest and free shipping on all orders over $0! In essence, you can get your copy today, totally free!
(minimal "idiot" tax applies for those stupid enough to ask how much this costs)

Basically, what I'm offering, is a free CD. Absolutely no catches, or strings attached. This is not a limited time offer, but is only available while supplies last. These are available on a "first come, first served basis", so to get yours, simply follow the directions at the end of this post. Failure to follow the instructions properly will result in me calling your mother and telling her that you "aren't very bright".

I wouldn't be surprised if there were a few people wondering why I'm bothering to do this, or what purpose it serves. Well, there are a few reasons. Most importantly, It's fun, for everyone, including me. I've ranted on this blog about quite a few things that don't make me feel very great about our world, and doing this, on the other hand, makes me feel good. Yeah, it's cheesy and silly, so what? In addition, I'm a music freak.

So here are the instructions, and then I'm going to wrap this up.
1st) Leave a comment on this post saying that you want one. That way, I can use the time stamp here to see who came first, and will be served first. Unless 100 people make a request, I'm not too worried about running out, but this way is fair to everyone, just in case.
2nd) Find my e-mail address on the top of my blog, and use it to send me an e-mail with your real name and address. If this makes anyone uncomfortable, that's understandable, but I don't have any ideas for a way around it, unless you have a P.O. box. If you're still unsure, you can check my references with KB, Penny, Jennifer W.K., or TheKraken, as I've already mailed items to all three of these people, and have yet to blow up their house, or sell their addresses to pornographers.
3rd) Sit back and wait for your CD to show up, which should be just a few days afterward.

I have a pretty strong feeling that there will be more than one volume in this series as well. Who knows, maybe I'll end up doing a new disc monthly or something. We'll see how it works out on my end, and what kind of feedback I get from yours.

I've obviously delayed the traffic post for a few days, as I'm working on compiling some pictures and data for it. It's shaping up to be the rant to end all (of my) rants.

UPDATE
Requests up to this point (2-12-05) have been filled. The second batch of CDs are going out Monday morning. From this point forward, CDs are still available, but will not come in a jewel case, or have an artwork foldout insert. CDs (shipped in a tyvek envelope with tracklisting) may still be requested, however.

currently listening to:

Deftones - Deftones

...A Thousand Words

2005-02-05T13:34:00.000-08:00

I had originally wanted to write a post about traffic today, but I'm in a wedding in a few hours, and won't have time to get the whole thing out. I was going to just wait until tonight to post it, but I decided that I'd put some pictures up in the interim. I've never done a "picture post" before, so this will include a few old shots too. These are all pictures that I've taken over the last few years. Here we go...

I took this in June of last year. I was watching Baby Kenny the day I set up Marissa's Slip N' Slide for her. Kenny was terrified of it, but being a bastard, I put him in anyway, knowing he'd get over it. They both had a blast. A few minutes later, Marissa coerced me to give it a go. I'm a LOT bigger than I was as a kid, and ended up in the street, lol. Seriously. It hurt.

This one was taken about a month later, another time that I was watching Kenny. Kenny has this "John Deere Gator" tractor-thingie. It has to be the single most irritating farm equipment mock up ever. It plays sounds, and songs. I think I lose a year of my life every time the kids hit the damn buttons.

I took this one last December. I was riding in the backseat with Phoebe, and snapped this picture of her. Christa made her that hat, and it looks so freakin' cute on her that I almost stole it. The tag on her horse toy said he was named "trotter", but I re-named him "Tonto". Christa refuses to call him Tonto, which I think might be why I do it.

I took this about two weeks ago. Christa had a spare "basket-thingie" laying around, so I turned it into a car for Phoebe. I pushed her around the house in it, until she got bored about 4 minutes later. I took this picture before that happened though.

I call this one "cat-hat". Phoebe is absolutely enthralled with Monkey, our cat. He is incredibly tolerant of her, and no matter how much she pulls his fur, yanks his whiskers, or won't let go of his legs, he just sits there and takes it. I took this picture of them "playing" on the bed, right as Monkey decided he would become a hat.

I can't actually take credit for taking this picture, or DammitJen would call me a liar. I really like it though, so I'm using it. What are you gonna do Jen?!? Huh? Didn't think so.

I took this one about 20 minutes ago, and I'm posting it because Christa is hot. She'd disagree with me, but like usual, I'm the one that's right. I'm sure you'll all agree.

Okay. There. New post. I'll post pictures from the wedding later tonight, and get to that traffic thing soon, because I have plenty of frustration to vent about it.

currently listening to:

The Arcade Fire - Funeral

A Second Opinion

2005-02-03T22:36:00.000-08:00

This was hard. I wasn't sure that I wanted to write this post, but I think what I have to say needs to be said. At least for me. I want to clarify something though, before I begin. I am not writing this as a personal attack on anyone. In addition, if the comments on this post begin to lean toward that direction, I will delete this post, and the post that it references, without a second thought. I write in this blog so that I can convey my feelings, thoughts, and opinions, and so that anyone that reads what I have to say can do the same. That said, I'll begin.
Maybe you read my last post, maybe you didn't. If not, you may want to go back and check it out, if you expect any of what I'm about to say to make sense. As of this minute, the latest comment I received on this post was from steve t, and was as follows (directly copied and pasted):

steve t was overheard saying...
Before you judge me on this comment, please check my previous comment on this post. I've just read through the comments and the common thread seems to be anger and frustration. Absolutely understandable. Yet in all truth we know nothing about the people, the mother and kids, you're talking about. How would it be if the mother (I'm sorry but I'd prefer not to make up a name for her) happened to stumble upon this blog? Would she indeed tell you to "fuck off", or would she ask for help, or at least understanding? At least one of your commentees said she was probably subjected to the same abuse - almost certainly right. Knee-jerk reactions just aren't gonna help to deal with the problem on a global basis. Like i said - if you think I don't care about this particular incident, and your predicament, check my previous comment. But, and I'm sorry to say this, this comment forum is starting to look a little like a posse.

I was originally going to leave a comment in response on the same post, but I had a feeling that I was likely to get long-winded again, and decided to dedicate a new post to this matter, as I have a lot to say (again). So here is my response to this comment, with my apologies to steve t for singling him out.

steve, you asked that before I judge you, that I read your previous comment on the matter, which I did, and I still do not judge you. I do, however, disagree with you. To be fair, here is the previous comment that steve had referred to (again, copied and pasted):

steve t was overheard saying...
Well, we don't have kids but I can still understand what that post office experience might have been like .... or maybe I can't. Right up until the "smack him in the mouth" bit I was thinking "maybe she had a really bad day, and she's usually a loving mother" - well i guess not. I understand your anger and frustration - I don't see what you or anyone could realistically have done in that situation. In hindsight we all think of what we might have, should have, could have done ..... but when you're dealing with someone so far outside our norm, what might/should/could you have done? Just hope (pray if you're into that stuff) for the kids i guess.

First of all, steve admitted that he does not have kids, which I think makes a big difference regarding this issue. I know for a fact, that only 5 (Myself, Daphne_Blue, KB, rubyjade, and Mrs.Strizzay) of the 14 unique commenters on this post have kids (including myself). I will be the first to admit that the group of us that do, myself especially, were definitely more harsh in what we had to say than those of you who don't. I think that there is definitely a reason for that. When you're a parent, you're quick to realize that children rely on you for each and every one of their earthly needs. It really hits hard how innocent, helpless, and dependent they are on you as a parent. Parents that fail their children by not claiming this one incredibly important responsibility, are failing at parenting. I can describe and explain this fact until my hair turns grey, but it's just a lot clearer when you experience it. Don't misinterperet this as meaning that I think your opinion carries less weight if you don't have children, but I think you can recognize how atrocious that situation was more clearly if you are a parent yourself.
Next, it is said that "we know nothing about the people, the mother and kids, you're talking about." Is that to mean that if you saw me walk down the street and kick a homeless woman in the face, that it would tell you nothing about me? Now imagine it were a helpless child. Wait, not just a helpless child, but my helpless child. I think that no matter how little you knew about me, it would still speak volumes about my character, and the relationship that I had (or lacked, in this instance) with my child.
steve, I can completely respect your choice to not call this person names, but please understand that the nickname given to her in my post was an attempt at light humor regarding a topic that was very, very serious to me. Childish? Yes. Warranted? In my opinion, yes.
"How would it be if the mother happened to stumble upon this blog? Would she indeed tell you to "fuck off", or would she ask for help, or at least understanding?" My hopes are that if that woman were to ever stumble upon my blog, the only thing she'd feel is shame. I'm pretty sure that your first scenario is most likely though. Anyone who has the capacity to treat their child in that manner, most likely gives about as much of a shit about how anyone else feels about it, as I give a shit about who won American Idol last year. The fact that she displayed this behavior to a crowded room of people, with no shame whatsoever, assures me that she wasn't worried about what any of us thought. Ask for help? Not a chance, as in her mind, it was handled just fine. If, by some stretch of the imagination, she wanted help, there were at least ten people (counting myself) in that post office that would have been more than happy to help, for the child's sake. I can't speak for anyone else that was present, but I would have taken that child home with me, were I able to. "Understanding"? Hell no. Even if she were looking for some understanding, there was absolutely no way she was going to walk away from that room with it. She received the same dirty, confused, and disbelieving looks from every person in the room. There is no excuse to treat your child that way. No excuse whatsoever.
"At least one of your commentees said she was probably subjected to the same abuse - almost certainly right." I agree with you 100% on this one. Think about it though. Is it right for her to treat her child that way because that's how she was treated? What happens when that poor boy has children of his own? The cycle perpetuates. Familiarity is no excuse for mistreatment. You can't claim that you don't understand right from wrong because you fell into the cycle.
"Knee-jerk reactions just aren't gonna help to deal with the problem on a global basis". Agreed. Any suggestions? If I knew what to do to solve this problem on any basis, I would have already done it. We all seem to agree on one thing. Nothing could have been done. The more I think about it though, the more that I'm not satisfied with that conclusion. I refuse to believe that our world has gone so far down the toilet, that there isn't anything anyone can do during situations like that. CPS is limited in what they can do, and the "posse" that I've assembled is even more limited. It wasn't my intention to form a "lynch mob" for this woman, or gather a posse, but we all just seemed to feel the same way about her.
Now let me go a few steps further in describing why I feel this way. If we don't stick up for that child, who's going to? What situation could possibly exist to make you tell your child to "shut the fuck up"? Now matter how bad your day was, could you ever ignore your child's cries for you? Could you smack away the outstretched arms of your apologizing child that needs to feel loved? I couldn't. EVER. For any reason under the sun.

Take a second to meet my kids. This is Marissa feeding Phoebe.

Now go back and glance through my last post. Imagine ANYONE treating my babies that way. Next, imagine that that woman was your babysitter. Just seriously think for a minute about what kids mean to you. Yours or anyone's. Does it matter at all that the child that had to go through that isn't your child? To me, it's just as bad, because there was seemingly nothing I could have done for that kid. I consider myself INCREDIBLY lucky to be a father, and I don't take it for granted. I have two, beautiful, healthy daughters, and they will never, ever be treated that way by ANYONE.

steve, once again, I didn't mean to offend you, belittle your opinions, or single you out. I have great respect for the fact that you were able to sign your name on a statement of how you feel, knowing that a lot of people would disagree. I hope that you can understand where I am coming from.

currently listening to:

Pretty Girls Make Graves - Good Health

...In The Waiting Line

2005-02-01T19:24:00.000-08:00

I got back from the post office about three hours ago. Something happened while I was there that made me so mad that I almost strangled someone. I told myself that if I were still angry about it in a few hours, It'd be worthy of a rant. And yeah, I'm still fuming, so here it is. I'm sure you're assuming that since I was in the post office at the time of the incident, that I most likely got angry with an employee, or our postal service in general, but alas, this is not the case. I was a heavy "eBayer" for quite a while, and have grown to love my local post office, and literally all of its employees. So, unlike most, it wasn't the post office I had an issue with, even though I did nearly go "postal" when it happened.
Before I get on to what happened, I'm going to give a bit of background about myself for anyone reading this that doesn't know me personally. First of all, I'm pretty damn even-tempered, and it takes a LOT to make me angry. Irritation is another matter altogether, as you can see by the frequency of my "ranting" posts. As far as real anger though,it does take quite a bit to actually make me angry. However, when I do get angry, I get really angry, like the Incredible Hulk. And lemme tell ya, I was about ready to Hulk Smash some ass a few hours ago. So here's the story...
I usually don't show up to the post office until close to 5pm. Keeping this in mind, I usually get stuck in a long line of other slackers that show up at the last minute. Generally, everyone that's waiting has already been there for at least 20 minutes, and at this point just looks tired and defeated. You can't use your cell phone in the post office, so I generally try to strike up a conversation with some other poor soul to keep myself occupied during the wait. On this particular day, however, nobody looked up to talking, as we were all staring at one woman and her two children. My mother taught me that it is not polite to stare, so I don't, but this was an exception. This woman looked to be around 35, and average in all meanings of the word. I make it a rule to not pass judgment either, but again, an exception was in order. You see, this woman was accompanied by her two children, which looked to be about 3 years old, and a year old, respectively. Both were in one of those two-kid capacity strollers, and the older boy was screaming his head off. Before I go on, let me throw a disclaimer in here stating that I do not believe that how other parent's mother or father their children is my business or concern. That said, once I saw this woman in action with her kids, I knew within three minutes that she would become one of my arch-enemies, and it would take great restraint to bite my tongue and mind my actions. This woman, who from this point forward will be loathingly referred to simply as "Chlamydia", was apparently present to ship a large number of packages. Chlamydia was also very, very busy painting her nails (yes, in the post office), and didn't seem to have the time, or patience to attend to either of her children. Within the first four minutes of my arrival, the older boy, who had obviously been crying for some time, had reached the point where breathing was difficult, because sobbing took over where crying left off. Judging by what I could understand through his sobbing and lack of breath, he wanted a sticker, that his mother had told him he could not have. If I were to guess what was going on, by the severity of his distress, I would have guessed that he and his mother had been wandering across country, on foot, and somewhere around Texas, he was denied a sticker, and had been crying since. After the passing of another minute or so, I guess Chlamydia took a break from her nails long enough to notice that her son was crying, and proceeded to demand that he "shut the hell up". I twitched, probably from irritation. The boy followed this with a broken "mommy, I'm sorry mommy", which received no response. The boy sobbed for another minute or so before Chlamydia reached over to smack him in the mouth. Which was when my switch flipped, and I became angry. Another desperate "mommy, I'm sorry" was met with a cold stare that appeared to contain absolutely no sympathy or love whatsoever, but was not at all lacking in threat. The boy pulled back as if he thought her stare could strike him, as I'm sure she had done many, many times before. At this point, the boy retained none of the ability necessary to stop crying, even if he had wanted to, which only put him in a worse position. Clearly out of breath, and trying with what little he had left to quiet down, he timidly reached his arms out for his mother, which were immediately swatted away. Shaking with anger, I wished that [since his mother obviously lacked the capacity to do so] I could just walk over and pick him up, and hold him while he calmed down, knowing that someone on this earth cared about him. As I stood and thought this, Chlamydia instructed him (at age 3) to "suck your thumb and shut the fuck up", which he tried, but it's hard to suck your thumb when you can't even catch your breath, and your evil, soul-lacking mother keeps smacking your face. I don't ever want to know what a child feels like when their own mother can't even PRETEND to care. "Mother is the word for God on the lips of all children". When I was that age, my mother was all I had, and I think that a parent should never forget that role, and how important they are to their children.
I know this post is dragging on forever, but I'm almost done, I promise. To sum up, before Chlamydia was called to the counter, and was incredibly rude to the attendant, she had already crossed several parenting lines that I do not believe ever need crossing. She smacked her kid enough times that I would deem it abuse, blatantly verbally abused him, and provided absolutely no nurturing qualities, or any qualities that even remotely resembled nurturing. The poor kid was an absolute mess. I was at the post office for 39 minutes, 28 of which overlapped their stay. That poor child was still sobbing when they left.
I feel like shit for having not done anything. I am forced with the dilemma of a choice. Are my beliefs and convictions regarding parenting more important than my belief that all parents have the right to raise their kids how they see fit? Knowing how I feel now, and more importantly, how that helpless boy must feel, I'm not so sure that I would have still passively stood by and watched that vile, worthless piece of shit treat her child that way. We were in a post office for christ's sake! The kid just wanted a fucking sticker! She could have grabbed a mailing label (which are available for free on any of the post office's four walls), or paid him an ounce of attention. Or gave a shit at all. I still feel sick over it, as I can say that I firmly believe that NONE of us that have kids could even imagine treating our little angels that way. EVER. Kids misbehave, it's a fact, it happens. But I think the difference, is that each and every one of us, regardless of how much patience we have left, care enough about our precious children to find a way to soothe and calm them, and reinforce how much we love them, no matter how badly they want a god-damned sticker. Let's all hope that woman gets hit by a big, heavy truck. Or something with less karmic repercussions. Sorry for the incredibly long post.

currently listening to:

Modest Mouse - The Lonesome, Crowded West

A Turning Of Tides..

2005-01-27T22:58:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I already wrote a rant about Blogger. To counteract that post, I have decided to write some nice things about Blogger, so we can make up, and she will stop acting like such a bitch every time I try to leave a comment or load a page. I'm sorry baby.
2 years ago, I would have thought that the idea of a blog was stupid, and probably have never signed up for one. But then, Christa developed a relationship with Blogger, and they were happy together. She found alot of online friends, and had a fun new hobby. The more I heard about it, the more interested I became. I decided that I must have a blog! Could Christa, Blogger, and I have a threesome? I was unsure at first, as I didn't want to steal any of the magic that Christa and Blogger had on their own. SO, I made the mistake of hooking up with MySpace. It was short-lived, retarded, and silly. I found that MySpace was all about posting provocative pictures of yourself, in an attempt to make others "swoon" and tell you how "hot" you are. That's fucking dumb. So we broke up. We decided not to remain friends, as it was just too hard.
I asked Christa if I could get in on her Blogger action, hoping that we three could share the magic of a beautiful relationship together. She accepted my offer, stating "I told you to try Blogger in the first place!". She was right, oh so right. So that's where it began. I found that Christa had already developed many Blogger relationships, and all of her Blogger friends were really, really cool. However, I didn't want to be a weasel and just segue right on in, and try to move in on all of her friends. SO I tried to steer clear of her links. Unfortunately, I couldn't resist as well as I thought I could. I had heard of KB's Another day in my bubble many, many times, and thought, "Well, maybe just one", and had a look. Then, it happened. The Myles drew me in. He, my friends, is absolutely adorable. So I left a comment or two, and now I check there everyday looking for a new post. KB is quite witty and fun, and is an all around super-cool gal, she's taken though, so don't get crazy. At that point, I figured, "well, in for a penny...", and took a peek at Coffeegirl Studios. MORE cute kids and witty writing! What was I to do?! I'll tell you, I got hooked there too, and now I'm a daily reader. She's also an amazing graphic designer, and I suggest you check out her stuff. Then, I started thinking, I should meet my own people here, and stop friend-theiving. I exercised some self restraint, and left Christa's links alone. Although I'm sure I'm missing out on a lot of good blogs that I'm sure I'll end up checking out anyway. So I decided to use "The Button" to find some of my own friends here. I found some really cool people so far, and suggest the reading of their blogs. TheKraken is HILARIOUS and witty, and his wife Jennifer W.K. is also quite funny, and has a great spin on life. Penny is really intelligent and down to earth, as is Nick S., who is really bright, and has an awesome flair for writing. Steve T. is WAY smarter than me, but his posts are readable (albeit infrequent, lol) and really interesting. Jenn is well versed and has a lot of thought-provoking things to say, and is worth checking out. I've sworn off of "The Button" for awhile, but I'll be looking for more good blogs to read again soon, so if anyone has any suggestions, I'm all about it.
Recently, Christa has become a "Blogger Recruiter" as well. It started as Christa and I being the only "real life" people we knew with blogs. Then she started in on our friend Jen. Then Jen's husband. Then Jen got Becky. Christa was like a girl scout selling cookies, racking up the sales. Next was her friend April. Then her best friend Carrie. Next, my best friend Fish, and his wife. And as of yesterday, she has recruited our friends Robert and Adriane. It's convenient, because of these friends, we can keep in touch easily with the ones we don't get to see very often.
All in all, Blogger and I have a pretty good thing going here. It's a fun "hobby" that doesn't take much time, and is more interactive than reading. On top of that, you're getting to know interesting people that may be as far as an ocean away, or as close as a few cities down the freeway. I know this is an incredibly cheesy and more-than-slightly retarded post, but I had a good day, and have nothing to rant about. In addition, Jen and Adriane are over visiting Christa ("blogging" on Jen's laptop) and it got me thinking about it. I'm going to stop writing now, because realization that this post is silly has just set in.

currently listening to:

Interpol - Turn On The Bright Lights

Be Quiet And Drive (Far Away)

2005-01-26T01:36:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about this post for a long time, and trying to figure out how to word it so that it doesn't sound as bizarre, obscure, and otherwise retarded as it does when I try to verbally explain it to someone. SO I've just decided to do what I do best and just ramble it all out, and hope that someone on the same wavelength will make sense of it.
Good luck contestants...
I'm an absolute music freak. Anyone reading this that knows me personally can attest to this. With very few possible exceptions, like gospel, modern country, and modern pop (yes, I'm talking about you Avril Lavigne), I love almost all music. If you've read any of my previous posts, will might have noticed the "currently listening to" links at the bottom of each one. Most probably gloss over it if it's nothing they've heard of, but it's actually really important to me, as to me, it is there to help set the tone of the post, or put out what I can't put in words. Right now, for example, I'm listening to At The Drive-In, and to me, that says something about how I'm feeling. Unfortunately, I can't expect people to go buy a CD to understand where I'm coming from, but I think that to a degree, everyone gets what I'm saying, at least to a degree. I have a sneaking suspicion that All that caffeine causes bad dreams knows exactly what I mean, as he does the same sort of thing with his post titles (brilliant, I might add). Sometimes, I think that a particular feeling, thought, idea, or emotion can be conveyed much easier and more directly through music. Look at the impact that the music has on a Quentin Tarantino film. Or look at the music in movies like Garden State, The Crow, Casino, or any Tim Burton film. Danny Elfman has made Tim Burton films infinitely more fleshed out with his scores. I'm still rambling.
Here, I'll give you the example that set this topic in my lap tonight, and maybe the fog I'm spewing will clear. I ran a few quick errands tonight. I went to the bank, and I picked up coffee. My trip lasted 30 minutes. During that 30 minutes, the rest of the world almost didn't exist, as if it were somewhere else, or maybe I was. I know this all sounds stupid so far, and maybe when I'm finished, it will sound just as stupid, or stupider, but you've read this far, so just keep reading. DammitJen was visiting tonight, and since our car sucks, I took hers to run the errands (don't worry, I had permission). Her car happens to have a pretty nice stereo, so I grabbed a few CDs on my way out the door. I grabbed Portishead's Live In NYC, Thursday's Full Collapse, and The Mars Volta's Frances The Mute (I know it's not out yet, but I have an unmastered advance, don't ask). I popped Thursday into the changer and drove away, into a different place. With the opening notes of "Understanding In A Car Crash", I rolled the windows down and let the cold air seep into the car. As I turned the volume up, everything I hate about driving in Southern California seemed to slip away, and my eyes opened on things I normally don't notice during my routine trips about the city. I passed a well-lit soccer field and suddenly felt like stopping to watch the kids play, despite the fact that I had no earthly reason to. The crackhead I saw hobbling down the opposite side of the street didn't irritate me like they normally do. Each time some asshole blew by me at 85 in a 25 (in an SUV on their cell), I didn't even feel like chasing them down, pulling them out of their car, and breaking a bone for each and every kid they could have flattened during school hours in that area. All of my stresses dissolved for that 30 minutes, as if I wouldn't ever be coming back to them. By the time I arrived at the bank, I had switched over to Frances The Mute, and was halfway through "L'Via L'Viaquez". I wasn't bothered that the only empty parking space was half-molested by some jackass' ridiculously lifted truck. I mean, seriously, if your tires are taller than my head, and you're getting three miles per gallon, what exactly is your motivation? But hey, just right then, I didn't even think twice about giving a shit, because I just didn't. Heading back from the coffeeshop, Portishead's "Only You" faded the rest of the traffic into background noise of brake lights and erratic lane changes. I just went somewhere else. Now, before you assume I was on autopilot, and just not paying attention, I'll assure that I learned to drive on a racetrack, in a literal racecar, and have never gotten into an accident. I was still driving quite safely, but somewhere in between the blinkers and low riders, I just wasn't concerned. I pulled up to the house, and welcomed the recovery of stress. You can't run away from problems or stresses, because they're an integral part of life, but it is nice to turn them down every once in awhile, if even for a fleeting 30 minutes.
I'm not sure how many people would understand if I said I were feeling very Transatlantiscism right now, and I'm sure even less people would understand if I were feeling Around The Fur, but nonetheless, twenty years from now, I will remember exactly how I felt, with that as my reference point.
I'm going to leave it at that, because I'm sure that this is already too long as usual. And I promise there won't be another music-related post for awhile. I will leave you with two things.
1) If you don't understand any of what I've just said, but want to, e-mail me, and I will personally add to your music collection. E-Mail me and I'll explain.
2)

currently listening to:

At The Drive-In - Relationship Of Command

I guess I really am this Irritable...

2005-01-23T19:20:00.000-08:00

So I was thinking about posting a new entry, and decided I would choose from either an inevitable music based post I could go with, or the short rant that I've decided upon. Rants are always waay more fun anyway. On top of that, rants are easier to relate to, in my opinion. If I start writing about music, maybe one or two people will read the whole post, while everyone else will roll their eyes, and click the "next Blog" link.
Speaking of the "next blog" link, that's what this rant is about. Are you like me? Do you absolutely adore the "next blog" button? Well, I do, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. However, "The Button" and I have been having problems lately, and I'm not sure that we're going to be able to work through our issues. See, "The Button" and I have always had a pretty good relationship, I click Button, Button gives me a fresh new blog to read. The main reasons I started a blog, are so that I can write (which I love), and read other people's blogs (which I can derive a nearly endless amount of entertainment from). Previously, I had always trusted "The Button", since she's treated me so very well up until this point in our relationship, leading me to other great blogs, and leading other great bloggers to me. Recently, I've found these awesome blogs through "The Button", all of which are worthy of my (alphabetical) recommendation...
All That Caffeine Causes Bad Dreams
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
Driving Fast
Planet Maria
Sciencexplained
The shit has hit the fanNow, if you're not on this list, we didn't find each other through "The Button", but don't fret, you're still important to me, and you'll get your "shout out" in a coming post. So I thanked "The Button" for this, and went on about my day. But lately, "The Button" has been leading me astray! This is where my rant will begin. My ego, however, is in check, and I in no way suggest that I have any authority to tell anyone how to run their blog, but I'm going to anyway, well, mainly, because I can. I apologize in advance to anyone offended by the following...
First of all, why are there blogs comprised solely of ads?!? When "The Button" ever so sneakily leads me to one of these blogs (there are unfortunately many) in which each post is an advertisment for a different product, there is no limit to the speed in which my mouse flies back up to "The Button". Honestly, with exception to the very first time it occurs, when you're still trying to figure out what the hell just happened, I can't imagine anyone staying longer than a few seconds. I suppose it should be like any other blog, where if you don't like what you're reading, bite your tongue, and click away, but somehow, it's not. I feel like "The Button" has wasted an opportunity to find me something readable and enjoyable, and should somehow be punished. I'm still working on a way to punish "The Button" though.
secondly, are what I like to call, "The Business Blogs". These blogs don't even make sense to me. They're similar to the "Ad Blogs" described above, however they all deal in one product, or in some cases, service. I don't know about you, but I am not going to switch to a new bank because I just ran across their freakin' BLOG. I will not use your sales blog to buy a dress, unless it's from an awesome blog like this one (thank you, Button, for correctly doing your job that time). I also will NOT rent DVDs from you, bid on your eBay auctions, or buy electronics from you. Ever. I just WON'T. Some of them don't even make sense. This one appears to be a business, but I can't even tell. Either way, it's stupid. If you are selling something on a large scale, stick to having a website, and leave our blogging area the hell alone. Seriously. Stop it.
Thirdly, and this one's sketchy, because it's really just me being bitchy, but I'm still including it. So, okay, you just learned HTML, that's great! Congratulations! DON'T OVERDO IT!! Don't fuck with the cursor, DO NOT add music that I don't have the option to turn off while your blog is displayed, especially if the music is REALLY, REALLY BAD. DO NOT, For the sake of your own life, create script prompts, because EVERYONE, even your own mother, HATES THEM. One more thing, if you do all of this shit, the only way anyone would ever even check out your irritating blog is if they used "The Button" to find it, so don't DON'T use your stupid HTML-magic to take it away!
Lastly, if I wanted to look at porn, I WOULD NOT look for it on Blogger. And since I'm here on Blogger, it's pretty safe to assume I'm not looking for porn, so you know what? JUST DON'T. Don't even link to it on the sidebar. At least one of my daughters is usually in the room when I'm on Blogger, and I don't need "The Button" leading me to your stupid, porn-infested blog.
I think I'm done now. I normally hate people that have the "if you don't like it, screw you" attitude, but unfortunately, that's how I feel about this post. Normally, I never feel that way, but if you want to leave a comment saying that your "business blog" is wonderful and thriving, your "welcome to my blog" script propmt is cute, or that you love porn and want to share it with the world, stop. Don't waste my time or yours. As a side note, the links I provided were all included SOLELY as examples, and not as personal attacks. Please remember that. And finally, all of the links were found in ONE seperate window, and all just within the time that it took me to write this post. It worked out to something like four out of ten blogs contained one or more of these irritating features. I do believe that "The Button" and I are breaking up. I will miss you Button.

currently listening to:

Nada Surf - The Proximity Effect

Do Not Pass Go...

2005-01-21T01:46:00.000-08:00

It's been a few days since I've updated, and I can see from the various "threatening comments" I've received, that it's about time that I did. Thanks for the motivation guys. It's been pretty busy, but I should at least try to make enough time to let off some steam typing out my frustrations. The other problem I have with "blogging" (besides the lack of frequent updates), is that when I decide to tell a story or start a rant, it ends up being much longer than I expect anyone to be patient enough to sit through. Especially if it's been a few days, I tend to get a little "long-winded". Oh well, here goes..
We'll Start with a few days ago. I signed up for Blockbuster Online a few weeks back, so Christa and I have been trying to see how many movies a month we can milk it for. With transit times included, I think we've topped out at 12, but we don't watch a movie every night, so I'm sure we could do more if we tried. Garden State and Napoleon Dynamite have been the best two we've rented so far, and if you haven't seen either of these movies yet, I highly recommend both of them. As a matter of fact, I happen to have an extra copy of Garden State for anyone that wants it (DammitJen and Guitar-Slinger are, however, excluded from this offer, details when I talk to you two next), and I'll even pay the postage to mail it. That's how much I stand behind the quality of this movie. Zach Braff is a genius. Leave me a comment on this post, and I'll set you up. After we saw it, we also went out and picked up the soundtrack, which is excellent. There is an extra copy of that up for grabs as well, again, leave me a comment. I'm into so many different types of music, it's no surprise that this soundtrack appeals to me so much. Christa loves it too. Moving On...
I started a new job on Tuesday. I'm not proud of it, but to get some money rolling in, I'm working at Starbucks while I continue my job search. I had a really good interview on Wednesday for a warehouse management position, and I should hear back about that tomorrow. It won't make us a fortune, but starts at $35,000-$45,000, which beats ass all over what I'd make if I stuck around at uppity Starbucks. There's some pretty cool perks for working there though, and considering how much money we dump into that place, they almost don't need to pay me at all. I'm way, way spoiled lately. I was lucky enough to not have to work for the past 7 months, and I got far too accustomed to being at home all day with my family (which I am incredibly thankful for), so now I miss them if I'm gone for a measly 5 hours. I was really fortunate in that respect though, how many fathers get to say that they spent the first seven months of their kids' lives at home with them? Not many. Not enough. I was very lucky, and I don't take that for granted. What else...
I promised Marissa (see Introductions: Part I) that she could write a post in my blog for me yesterday, but she fell asleep on the couch. Expect the next post (maybe as soon as tomorrow) to be from her. It'll be cute.
Yeah. Fuck Monopoly. Marissa's been on this kick about playing Monopoly for the past three or four days, so tonight, Christa and I accepted her challenge. It was really fun, but Marissa plays like a 6 year-old, lol. She bought everything she landed on, bought my "get out of jail free" card for $150 (you can pay your way out of jail for a mere $50), and kept trying to give away her money and her properties, because she's sweet like that. She still has absolutely no idea what the actual purpose of the game is, but she had fun anyway. After about 20 minutes, she got bored, quit, and got on the internet. She can't figure out which bills to give you when she lands on your property, but I'll be god-damned if she can't find every single Barbie-related website the internet has to offer. So at that point, I made the mistake of continuing to play solely against Christa. It's not even funny how badly she annihilated, destroyed, and otherwise raped me at that stupid game. It was bad enough that she levelled me so quickly, but to make matters worse, she was really sweet about it, accepting my cheap-ass property in lieu of payment when I landed on her hotels, which dragged out my suffering. Mid-way through, it looked like this...

As you can see from the picture, I am being completely and utterly overpowered at this point. I've highlighted a few areas too. You can see that I own the shitty purple properties located right past "Go", and what would be Boardwalk and Park Place (were this not Star Wars Monopoly), which Christa landed on a grand total of one time. You can also see the long string of brothels that she erected, which clearly span more than half of the board. Finally, you can see (in red) that I have a total bankroll of nine dollars. NINE FUCKING DOLLARS!! Yeah, it was bad. But the carnage continued. And got worse. Toward the end, here's what we had...

At this point, I just needed to be put out of my misery. Obviously, I had no property or money left, and barely a shred of dignity. I felt like Linux trying to topple Microsoft. Regardless of my pathetic loss, it was alot of fun. This last picture pretty much sums up what was done to me throughout the entire game, and showcases my ability to still take pictures like I'm 5 years old.

I can't believe that I just wrote that much about a game of Monopoly. Oh well, it's late, and I'm tired. I apologize that this post is so drab, I promise more for the next one. But hey, with a free CD or DVD, you can't really complain, so don't. Stupid Monopoly.

currently listening to:

Various Artists - Garden State Original Soundtrack

Size DOES Matter!

2005-01-15T21:27:00.000-08:00

I've decided that this post will be a rant. I've also decided that the likelihood of many of my other posts being rants is pretty high. Sorry about that. Yesterday I decided to do some cleaning and re-organizing around the house, and ended up nearly ripping out my own throat in frustration. I decided to switch a few bookcases around in an effort to better accomodate our overflowing DVD collection, meaning I had to re-organize some of Marissa's books into her bookcase upstairs. Have you ever tried to arrange any amount of children's books in a bookcase? Someone brilliant (or someone attempting to incite mass insanity) decided ever so cleverly that "there will be no standarized size for children's books"! This decree thundered from the heavens, and children's books began flowing from every corner of the universe in such a wide variety of sizes and shapes, that they could never, ever, co-exist on a bookshelf together. Ever. It completely boggles my mind that there are books that are, like, two feet tall and 6 inches wide, on the shelf next to it's polar opposite, which weighs in a 3 inces tall, and 12 inches wide. It's bizarre, and completely unecessary. By the time I finished the first shelf, I was so tired, I threw the rest in a box in her room upstairs, and filled the lower shelf with toys. Damn books. Here's what I mean...

Then there's the other size mysteries of the world. Notice anything funky last time you ordered pizza? You didn't make the futile mistake of attempting to order a "small" did you?

Because nowadays, the smallest size offered is "medium". The last time I checked, the word "medium" was defined as: "Something, such as an intermediate course of action, that occupies a position or represents a condition midway between extremes." (this is quoted from Dictionary.com). So, to have a "medium" size, wouldn't it REQUIRE something larger and something smaller??!? You know, something smaller than "ultra-duper family size" and the "personal" size?? I was just thinking rationally, and it confused me.
Then there's the ever-retarded "serving-size". What is a “serving size” anyway? It's supposed to be the size of a single serving, right? Like if I were to have a "single serving" of soda from a 2 liter bottle, it should not exceed 8oz.? Okay, A) that’s fucking stupid. And B) that’s really dumb. So I was looking around our kitchen for some examples of how much we should eat of certain products, and found this…

Look, unless you’re from Rwanda (sorry), if you and your significant other need an extra person to help you finish a god damn bag of microwave popcorn, you need to seek help, immediately, because chances are, one of the two of you has a problem with your appetite. You know what? I microwave a whole bag, all to myself. Then, I pour melted butter all over it, and then I sprinkle parmesan cheese all over it (sounds gross, but try it before you knock it). Then, I look at the nutritional facts and laugh. Then I have a seat because I’m tired and out-of-shape from eating too much popcorn.
There are plenty of things that have the right idea. DVDs for example, are all uniform in size, and mucheasier to organize than a bunch of children’s books. See..?

Publishers of children’s books, TAKE NOTICE!! It can be done! Golden Books, call Bantam, I’m sure you guys can figure out something. C’mon guys, it would really help me out. Do it for the kids.

currently listening to:

Air - Moon Safari

Begin Transmission...

2005-01-12T01:06:00.000-08:00

So this is my blog. I just started it. It was suggested to me by my friend Greg that I get a blog, and he directed me to MySpace, but it wasn't for me. Now don't get me wrong, if you're "blogging" to meet chicks (or guys, for that matter), head on over, it's an internet meat market, complete with desperate 16 year-olds posing for their profile picture in their god-damned underwear. I'm sure that'd be all fine and good if I were single, also 16, or also desperate, but I'm none of the above, so I found it a bit, uh, "icky". It did have some spiffy features, but none of which were worth tolerating the rest of community for. On top of that, I don't think anyone even reads or writes blogs there, I think they just look at pictures of the opposite sex, then make comments in a weak attempt to be clever and/or charming, which generally fails to the point of mild humor. My pseudo-wife has a blog here, and she suggested I start one here in the first place, but I didn't want to "move in on her territory", so I made that mistake of trying MySpace. But now, now it's a full-on gang war, as I have "infiltrated her 'hood". She's Christa (see "Introductions", next post), but anyone on here probably knows her as Daphne_Blue. I was at MySpace long enough for three posts, and I've ported two of them over to this blog. Both of the posts are like a "cast of characters" that will be appearing in my blog. Christa has also recruited our friend DammitJen who has also begun a blog, and blatantly stole my idea. Yes DammitJen, you stole my idea, and you know it! It's all gravy though, it's not like I had invented the wheel or anything.
Anyway, here is my blog. Read it, stroke it, love it. Or go have a sandwich.
-B